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95% of the way out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by william123, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. william123

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    Hey guys,

    So I've been making a lot of progress recently about coming out and coming to terms with myself and others about my orientation. I finally am feeling somewhat free and clear from the bad times (which took place over several years).

    The only thing is I am not quite all the way there. I still have problems saying the word "gay' out loud openly in front of people. And I am still a bit paranoid that people are gonna "find out" or "expose me" for my orientation.

    Do you guys have any advice on how to get the rest of the way there? I want to liberate myself from the darkness, from these chains that have been plaguing me ever since I came to the personal realization that I might be gay.

    Thanks.
     
  2. greatwhale

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
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    What, specifically (be very specific) are you afraid of if you are "exposed" as gay? Who, exactly, will object or ridicule you?

    All I can counsel is that you feel yet more intensely those chains that you describe; feel more intensely the darkness that you want to liberate yourself from. Change will only happen when the situation becomes intolerable to you.

    Your signature from Shakespeare says it all, find the courage to be who you are; and bless the stars that you are young enough to take advantage of it!
     
  3. william123

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    Thanks so much for the excellent advice.

    I think it is a struggle (for anyone) to truly find themselves and become aware of the true person that they are. So far I have been lucky, as there were a few people in my life who helped me come out by allowing me to express myself and being patient all along the way.

    I guess a lot of it is in my head. When I say I am afraid of being exposed, I guess it is just an unfounded fear, something that is not really real that I have created in my own head. I suppose hiding from the truth has been more comfortable and convenient than facing it for me over the last many years.

    I'm hoping that maybe through participating in these forums I might gain some courage and learn to face who I am more fully and directly. Hmm... I hope so anyways!

    Anyhoo, thanks for getting the ball rolling. You have really made me think. I need to ponder further on this!