Hi ! I just came to terms with the fact that I'm gay. I'm still not 100% comfortable to talk about that with other people, but I think it's because it's still new to me and as I talk to more people about that, I will get used to it. For now, I want to tell my friends that I'm a lesbian. I don't want to hide it. Hiding it feels, to me at least, like a shame. It's like I'm ashame about that and I don't like that feeling, because it's not a shame. Also, I don't want to feel nervous and awkward if the subject of guys came up with my friends... I already tell some friends about it and they all accept it. I'm not really afraid of what they will say, I know my friends, I know they will accept it. I'm just afraid that things might be a little awkward after I come out... I don't know if anyone have ever experience that ? I also need advices to come out to my parents. I'm not sure yet if I will come out to them. At first, I wanted to wait until I have met someone. I don't know if I will tell them sooner or if I will wait, I'm still thinking about that. I still want some advices, in case I decide to come out to them. Last week-end, I was talking with my dad. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, but my parents are still asking questions about that, since I didn't really tell them what was the reason for the break up. The conversation wents like that : Dad : Do you plan of getting back together with your boyfriend ? Me : No. Dad : Okay. I was just wondering, since he was your first boyfriend and the relation didn't last long, if you broke up because you are most interested in girls. It's something that happens sometimes, and people are often afraid to tell their parents because they think they might not accept it. I just want to tell you that it's not the case for me and your mom. We would be supportive, and keep it a secret if you don't want to talk about it. I know I made jokes about that, but I don't have any prejudices against gay people. Me : I know. But that's not the case. Dad : Okay. So, you're not interested in girls ? Me : No. Okay, first, I was really happy to hear that from him, because I always thought my dad had some prejudices. I was not ready to tell him yet so I lied, even if I don't like to lie to people. I'm not sure I'm ready yet to tell my parents, but even if I was, I'm not sure I would tell them, because I'm still not sure about how my mom would react. Even if my dads say the two of them will support me, he can only talk for himself. I know my mom will accept it because I'm her daughter and she loves me anyways. But I'm sure she would prefer that I was heterosexual. I'm just afraid that, after I come out to them, things will get awkward, and that I will be a deception for my mom, because I don't follow the plans she has for me (marrying a man, children, all the things a mother wants for her daughter). I'm also afraid that I would be a shame for her. She really care about what other people say or think. We're always arguing about that, because I tend to not really care what other people think. So, I'm afraid she would be awkward around other people if the subjects came up, or if she wouldn't talk about it... I just don't want things to be awkward ! It's what I'm really afraid of. To anyone who had already come out of the closet, did things get awkward after that ? If so, when does it stop to be awkward ? I really need advices, because I plan to tell my friends really soon. The only thing that prevents me to come out already, is the fear that things will get awkward...
Well, for me things were awkward because no one believed me. All my friends thought I was joking. I understand you want to tell the world, to scream it from the roof tops, at least it's how I felt when I was ready to come out. Best advice I can give is to take it one step at a time, tell a few people, then a few more.
