I don't know why, but...

Sadly the two sides to every story-thing exists here too. Anything could happen, really, and I feel as though I'm never going to talk to my family once I leave the house [mentioned in another thread. Forgot which]. But you tend to develop thoughts, twisting your old thoughts, throwing them out the window. I guess all you can do is wait for the future to tell what really happens?

Sorry I can't be of any help, but if it makes you feel better, I know how it feels. What you're going through.

 

well the way i see it. when/if you do tell them.....before you do see if you can for sure find a place to stay if you need to. but honestly this stuff can twist with your mind...but in situations like this..its cuz your mind thinks of the worst things that can happen. sometimes it suxs and they do...but most of the time they dont happen. all i can really say is that and the fact of you never no whats really gonna happen until it happens.


hope i was atleast some help.

 

I think that's actually a sign of progression, odd as that may seem. When most people start the process of coming out to others, they fear the reactions they'll get from those people. You were afraid that your parents would disown you. That's normal. We all feel that way to some extent. A lot of people decide to come out at this stage anyway and do fine. However, some people will let things simmer until they actually build up enough internal steam that instead of fearing a reaction they almost look forward to it. I know what you mean by disowning your parents. You don't mean you want to. Just that you think you would be able to if push came to shove. Now, whether it would work out as you imagine it is another story, but this inner strength is actually something that can work in your favor if you let it.

When I came out to my parents, I felt a similar set of emotions. I convinced myself over time that if they had a terrible reaction then it would be my choice, not theirs, to sever things. That way I would be prepared. It's really just a matter of semantics in the end, but those thoughts were comforting. It's the illusion of power and control.

All in all, I think it's just a progression of your coming out process to them. Fear turns to strength. Your mind is getting bored of being afraid, hehe. Chances are that if you feel this way, you're probably ready to come out to them if you want to. But only you can decide that one.

(I hope that all made some sort of sense. It's late here, lol)

 

If you don't know where you'll go to live if they kick you out, I suggest not telling them until you do have somewhere to go.

As for fear of them kicking you out, I went through that too. Even though I know that my mother is the most wonderful, accepting woman in the world. I was afraid that she'd be like 'it's okay for others, but not for my daughter' and proceed to throw me to the curb.

She didn't though, and I'm okay.

I'd say find out their views on homosexuality, then work on telling them if you feel comfortable. There's no rush.

 

Do you think that they would react badly, and throw you out? If so, I would recommend not coming out to them just yet, if you have nowhere to go.

But I think that, as Astaroth says, it is a sort of sign of internal progress that you are now thinking of disowning *them*, of it being the other way round. This doesn't mean that you dislike your parents, or that you want them to disown you, or for there to be an argument; rather, I see it is your mind going fearing a situation where you would have no control, to it imagining one where you act out the worst possible scenario, but where ultimately, you are the one in control.

Basically, you are going over your worst fear in your head, which I think is perfectly natural. The fact that you have progressed to thinking that you would disown your family, doesn't mean that you actually want to: it is your mind's way of exercising control over the circumstances it is imagining, if that makes sense.

I expect my parents to be absolutely fine, and I went through a while imagining the worst possible outcome (which would never happen), and in the end, like you, I ended up rejecting them. In terms of me, it had nothing to do with reality, but was clearly a mental stage I had to go through (I am now gladly through it). I think it depends on whether you *do* expect them to disown you or not, as to what exactly it is your mind is doing. But ultimately, your mind is psyching itself up, and you are not going crazy or anything like. I think it's probably fairly common, actually.

But I hope you don't really feel that it would come to anyone disowning anyone