Do I even have to come out?

No, you're not stupid. It's normal for you not to want to put yourself under a label. And if it's ok with you, you can keep it as your little secret for as long as you want, if it's ok with you to hide your true self from your loved ones and to have to listen to the "when will you introduce us to your girlfriend?" comments that family and some friends usually make. I have to admit that the term "being in a closet" does sound a bit harsh, but I guess that's how people feel when they want to come out and don't have the courage or the proper environment to do so.
You can come out when you feel like it, for example when you find a partner of the same sex and you feel sure of your feelings and want to share them with your family, as you stated. No one is forcing you and it's not mandatory to come out when you're gay.
But do bare in mind that when you're really secretly gay it's difficult to be in a relationship because you'll always have to hide, and you won't be at many places where gays hang out so you won't have much chances to interact with them. Of course you can discreetly find a partner through a dating site but that's not an easy thing because such sites are mostly for "hook-ups".
I see though that you come from Sweden, which is a very open-minded country (I once heard your prime-minister or something like that was openly gay, not sure), so if your family and social acquaintances are not so homophobic coming out won't really change the way you live your life or the way society sees you, SO you can come out when you feel like it, and when you are ready. I for example, haven't come out, (only to some gay friends), and I rarely feel that I should, so for the time being I enjoy my time "in the closet".
Oh, and don't overthink stuff. It only puts you in thoughts and doubts and makes your life harder.

 

I can understand the want to not put labels on things, if you feel you don't need to tell people you're gay then fin. It may come up or people might flat out ask you at times. I don't know how "obvious" it is your gay, you may not even need to tell anyone.

 

You're certainly not required to tell anyone who you don't want to. If you don't like labels then don't use them, there are a million other ways to get the point across if and when you want to.

 

be prepapred for people to be confused.

'Where are you going?'
'On a date.'
'Oh? With who?'
'This guy I met.'
'Okay be home by midnight.'

This is NOT realistic if nobody knows. Yes it might sound formal, bu some people might want to be on your side before they feel like they hardly know you.

 

I feel the same way about saying I'm 'bisexual'.

In our brains we have associations with words that don't always reflect how we actually feel about that subject. Like if you hear the name of a religion, say Jewish, then you will conjure up all the stereotypes, positive and negative.

I think that's why when I hear 'bisexual' I think 'that's not me!' because I have all these other associations with it, not all positive. I'm trying to retrain my brain at the minute to have positive and neutral associations with being 'bi'. This forum's helping with that.

Anyway, this might be nothing to do with how you're feeling but thought I'd share.

And in answer to the question in your title, you don't have to come out, it's entirely up to you. I've only come out to two people so far but it was amazingly freeing, so it would be good to consider it.

 

I have the same problem...I just couldn't say I'm gay out loud, the first person I told was one of my best friends and what I ended up saying was first, asking her if she knew what coming out of the closet means, then, when she said yes, I guestured towards me, and she got it...and while I have only came out to 11 people (well 12 now) I have not said im gay outloud yet.... so just go around, today I told someone I was as straight as a circle....just do what you feel will work best!!

 

I still haven't accepted any label, so it's pretty hard to be out of the closet. It feels odd calling myself a lesbian and it feels even odder calling myself bisexual. I would probably call myself a lesbian if I really had to label myself because I don't really want to date guys.

 

Well, from personal experience, it is very difficult to date someone who isn't out. And I'm sure you do not want to feel pressured to come out once you finally start dating someone. It isn't fair to you or the other person, so coming out is beneficial and regardless if you're dating or not.

Not only that, you will feel less restricted when you are out and about checking out men while running errands. What about when you're around family or friends and you happen to notice a hot guy? You could miss out on many opportunities to meet someone amazing.

I truly believe that coming out will never end, because people will automatically assume that you are straight. And even though I am out to everyone, I'm only out to those that matter most and who are a part of my daily life. So, my friend's mom and sister were very surprised when they saw (Facebook) that I'm dating a woman. I mean, I see them often, but I didn't think it was important for them to know.

If anything, coming out is a personal decision, so please feel free to do so when you want to

 

'Oh, your such a nice guy! A lot of girls would be into you!'
'Too bad I couldn't possibly return the love to a girl.'
Then turn away, let them figure it out themselves and let them be the ones to raise the topic later.