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Anxiety/Depression After Coming Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by njec11, Sep 15, 2013.

  1. njec11

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    Hi everyone. I havent posted in a while, but I need a bit of support recently.

    I have experienced a high degree of anxiety and bouts of depression over the last 3 years. It has gotten progressively better (I see someone) and the last few months I have had very low anxiety and have felt really good. This has led me to feel really happy and increased how comfortable I felt about myself and how confident I felt about coming out.

    3 weeks ago I began the coming out process. I have told 75% of my friends and all of my family and have had nothing but positive reactions -- as I expected. It has been great. Some have been emotional, so very matter-of-fact, but all great.

    However, the last 7 days have been BRUTAL in terms of the anxiety and depression I have been feeling. It has been mostly concentrated in my mind -- not looking forward to things, feel nervous, my head feeling heavy, we all know the symptoms. I was wondering if anyone felt a similar reaction after coming out. If their anxiety/depression increase dramatically and what might be the cause.

    To be honest, this has really really thrown me and I am very worried again. Coming out was suppose to be further relief to my anxiety (I know it wont ever fully go away) and now I feel worse -- and I really dont see any light at the end of the tunnel. Any thoughts/opinons? Could it be that my mind needs something new to occupy it now that the fear of coming out is gone?

    Thanks everyone!
     
  2. EmilyLimbo

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    Hi,

    I have been experiencing this as well. One minute I am excited and happy and feeling free, the next minute I am feeling very anxious and exposed and completely out of sorts. I have not been sleeping well, and my mind is working a mile a minute and it won't stop.

    I have been trying to figure out why I am feeling all these things as well, I believe a lot of it is knowing that I am making a big change in my life and that always throws everything out of balance. I am wondering if you are feeling the same. It is like your mind has to get used to thinking a differed way and it protests by becoming anxious. I am also quite anxious about what people are thinking of me, even though I don't really care, I can't help it. I think there will be light at the end of the tunnel though once it sort of becomes old news and I don't need to focus so much on it. Do you think if you focused on that it might help? I think the current anxiety/depression it somewhat normal. But it is important to be conscious of it so if it becomes a bigger problem you seek help.

    Sorry I can't be more helpful other than to say you are not alone. :slight_smile:

    PS. I have been treated for clinical depression for many, many years so know that some of these issues are related to ones I already have.

    Emily
     
    #2 EmilyLimbo, Sep 15, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2013
  3. bingostring

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    Do you think you have an underlying anxiety condition? Therefore you are just having a bad 'dip' at the moment. Ongoing therapy etc will help you manage the anxiety.

    Have you ever looked at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as a way of learning how to manage your thought habits? CBT is usually good for this.

    Also, your current feelings might be a sort of anti-climax reaction to the coming out. "Hey I've come out ... but the world hasn't changed for me.. now what do I do?? "
     
  4. hitgirl

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    I second what bingostring says. I read a really good book called Overcoming Social Anxiety and there's a whole series of them for depression, general anxiety, etc. I did all the exercises in the book and it almost completely cured me, now I just have a couple of minor relapses every so often.

    I'm no expert, but maybe it's like the 'come down' after all the stress of coming out? Try setting yourself mini targets to improve your day, just a little thing at a time that makes you feel happier. And you mentioned do you need something to occupy you? Maybe! It can't hurt anyway if it's something positive!
     
  5. blueberrymuffin

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    Coming out can help greatly with general stress, but if you've got mental health issues that are separate from being gay/closeted, you should see a therapist or something. Sometimes after coming out there can be sense of vulnerability, but it shouldn't make you *that* anxious/depressed, especially since they reacted well.