a while back i posted here about a friend who acted like a jerk at my b-day party thing, and made me feel like shit. Well since then i spoke to her, over msn cause I know i wouldnt be able to do this in real life, i'd be an emotional wreck. baically the conversation went like this: i asked her "randomly" how she would feel if it wasnt accepted or "normal" to be straight, and she told me that she'd feel awful, etc, and i told her thats how she made me feel, etc. then we got into a BIG argument about her homophobia, and i kept telling her i didnt wanna change her beliefs or me, but i wanted her to just understand that this is how i am, and i will talk about it. so then she claimed that talking about sex, love, or even KISSING grosses her out, straight or gay. and that confused the hell out of me. then i said, okay, so look, i want you to meet my gf, but when you do i promise we wont kiss or anything, we'll just hold hands. will THAT freak you out? and she said no. one thing i do know, shes more worried about her parents finding out about me than she is of me being gay. i kinda feel like i gave into what makes her comfortable. Did I?
Everyone's got their own comfort level. For whatever reason, I'm not crazy about PDAs by anybody, straight or gay. So I'd appreciate it if people didn't "kiss or anything" in my presence, either...and that doesn't have anything to do with homophobia. You didn't "give in" - you compromised. You gave some ground (we won't kiss even though we want to), and she gave some ground (I'll meet your girlfriend even though I'm uncomfortable about it). That's how issues are supposed to be resolved. Lex
I think you reached out to her. To keep her as a friend. As Lex said you compromised,you didn't give in. You can feel OK.
I agree: Work at the edges of her comfort if you want to keep them as a friend. You both "gave in" a little, but that's sometimes necessary to keep the peace and to be mutually understanding in a friendship.
