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Coming Out Letter to my dad

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lovethemdudes, Sep 17, 2013.

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  1. Lovethemdudes

    Lovethemdudes Guest

    I wrote this draft last night, and I'm going to send it to him on October 11 (Coming Out Day). I've already come out to my mom in person, but I think it'd be better to do it this way for my dad, as I'm in college out of state now. And the thing is that I'm coming home the next day. But please let me know if you think I should add anything to the letter, or take anything out:
    Hey dad,
    I have something to tell you, and have for a while now. Earlier this past summer, I know you asked mom if I was feeling alright and you thought I was struggling with my sexuality. The only thing I was struggling with was how to tell you and mom the truth: that I like guys. Yes, THAT way. And I've always known. This isn't something that I just came up with on a whim to get attention, it's not an experiment, and I'm not confused. I have denied, struggled with and fought this for years, and I am tired of hiding this from you. I told mom at the end of July, and she told me that she is fine with it as long as I'm not rushing into anything, but she wanted me to wait a while to tell you because of your epilepsy, and now I know that was the right decision, since you went to the hospital not long after. But I think that it's best that you know the truth. You don't need to worry about me and my safety (which was one of mom's concerns). I am an adult now and I know how to take care of myself. Plus, I'm a black belt. And even though I watch soap operas now, I'm still the same gecko-catching, beach-loving, Star Wars-watching son that you raised for 17 years. I'm not a stereotype, so please don't treat me like one now that I'm being honest with you. This is part of me, but it doesn't define who I am. I understand that it might take some time for you to accept this, because it sure has taken a lot of time for me to. But I hope that you know I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I hope you can love and support me the way you and mom always have.
    Love,
    Dmitri
     
    #1 Lovethemdudes, Sep 17, 2013
  2. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    This is an absolutely perfect letter, straight (so to speak) from the heart. Do not change a word!

    (I have a 17 y.o. son, and I would welcome being approached that way if ever he had something important to tell me)
     
    #2 greatwhale, Sep 17, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2013
  3. hitgirl

    hitgirl
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    I like it as well, it comes across really mature and considerate but confident in yourself :slight_smile:
     
    #3 hitgirl, Sep 17, 2013
  4. Lovethemdudes

    Lovethemdudes Guest

    Thanks for the responses, guys!
     
    #4 Lovethemdudes, Sep 17, 2013
  5. RainyViolinist

    RainyViolinist
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    This is amazing! Bravo, I wish I had the courage to come out to my parents like you! I wish you the best of luck :slight_smile:
     
    #5 RainyViolinist, Sep 17, 2013
  6. bscott92

    bscott92
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    Yep, I wouldn't change a thing.
     
    #6 bscott92, Sep 17, 2013
  7. bingostring

    bingostring
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    :thumbsup: All of the above - it is totally perfect !
     
    #7 bingostring, Sep 17, 2013
  8. Sully

    Sully
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    That's a brilliant letter! Define telly given me some inspiration!
     
    #8 Sully, Sep 17, 2013
  9. TheStrongestLink

    TheStrongestLink
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    Perfect letter! Cake for you!
     
    #9 TheStrongestLink, Sep 17, 2013
  10. Ohhai

    Ohhai
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    Good luck! :slight_smile: xxx
     
    #10 Ohhai, Sep 17, 2013
  11. JakeHas

    JakeHas
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    This is the perfect letter. It thoroughly explains everything and you get that point across with out being so awkward about it like I seem to be! Haha. Best of luck to you, I hope everything turns out perfect!
    (I would love to hear what happens when you do it, if you don't mind)
     
    #11 JakeHas, Sep 17, 2013
  12. Lovethemdudes

    Lovethemdudes Guest

    Thanks so much, y'all! I will definitely post my dad's reply/response (if he has one) up here after I send the letter.
     
    #12 Lovethemdudes, Sep 18, 2013
  13. BelleLey

    BelleLey Guest

    Perfect letter, good luck !
     
    #13 BelleLey, Sep 18, 2013
  14. chanelleeeeexxx

    chanelleeeeexxx
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    Amazing letter - Absolutely perfect! Good luck xx
     
    #14 chanelleeeeexxx, Sep 18, 2013
  15. Randy

    Randy
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    I like this...I chuckled at some point for some reason :slight_smile: Good luck, cheering for you!
     
    #15 Randy, Sep 18, 2013
  16. Lovethemdudes

    Lovethemdudes Guest

    So I sent the email to my dad today. My mom just called and said that he's thinking of taking me out of my current college and having me transferred to somewhere close to home. My mom also said that I should keep it secret. I don't know how to feel right now...they are calling back in half an hour.
     
    #16 Lovethemdudes, Oct 5, 2013
  17. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! First off, it took a lot of courage for you to send your coming out letter. You should be proud of yourself for having sent it.

    I hope the phone call with your parents will turn out to be alright in the end. If you find that it turns into an argument, or it becomes too difficult it is okay to say "I'm having a hard time talking to you right now, so the best thing would be to end the conversation and I'll call you back in a few days."

    Let us know how it all turns out. (*hug*)
     
    #17 Mirko, Oct 5, 2013
  18. KyleD

    KyleD
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    Keep us updated! I hope you're okay!
     
    #18 KyleD, Oct 5, 2013
  19. Lovethemdudes

    Lovethemdudes Guest

    Hi guys,
    So I got off the phone with my mom about an hour ago. She said that the reason she didn't want me to tell anyone is because she doesn't want someone to hurt me, and she was concerned about the police sting operation against LGBT individuals here in Louisiana. She also said that my dad just wishes I called or told him in person instead of sending the email. Other than that, they told me they will always love me and are proud of me.
     
    #19 Lovethemdudes, Oct 5, 2013
  20. Rasengan

    Rasengan
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    Good for you man! Really brave of you and it always takes guts to do something like this! Hope everything goes well for you.
     
    #20 Rasengan, Oct 5, 2013
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