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sad..but happy -> confused

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by WheelerBoi, May 27, 2008.

  1. WheelerBoi

    WheelerBoi Guest

    Hi,

    This post is as mess... but i need to write this down.

    So i've been 'working' with this guy for like the last nine months...when we're together its just us, no-one else and we got to be friends. He's nearly totally opposite to me - he 'gets around' ALOT - boys & girls - and would give u the impression that he's a selfish, rude slut sometimes (which he can be) - but there's still more to him than that.

    About 6 months ago he got very drunk :confused: and told me he really liked me ... i was very shocked that he would like me ... he's not short on 'other options' lol ... i might even have posted about that here before. After that night I just assumed he was verrrry drunk that night to think he liked me.

    The same thing kinda happened about 3 months ago but it was me who 'started it' - again involving too much :beer: (never good :icon_sad: )

    So last saturday - the 2nd last time we'd see each other he was a little drunk (again!) and persuaded me to join him for a few drinks...i was talking to him thinking about how much i liked him, even though i didn't want too...I was secretly hoping something would happen but really didn't think it would..so anyway he starts flirting...i think he's just carrying on (i never knew how seriously to take it, cuz he does that with lots of ppl)...so he kisses me...i can't quite believe it ... he continues to tell me that he's fallen in love with me over the last 9 months and he had to tell me that night because it was his last chance...he tells me that the time off he took a few weeks ago was to decide if he could still continue to work with me.

    You can prob guess what happened after that :icon_wink . Anyways, next morning he says basically the same thing (when he's not drunk!! :eusa_danc ). Thing is we really can't be together. I've now moved away - he even said it was better if i was out of his life so he could get over me - if we were together he would most likely cheat on me, we both know it , tho he did say if he was ever going to 'settle down' it would be with someone like me (!)

    I really like him and now i actually believe he really likes me - we're probably not going to see each other much now but i can't get him out of my head - i spent months thinkin I'd been stupid to think he'd like me and made a :***: out of myself by letting him know it.

    I'm really glad he told me...i though i'd find it reallky difficult to find a guy that liked me...and he could be described as quite very shallow too...i guess a wheelchair's not as off-putting as i thought.... :slight_smile: its cheered me up , made me more optimistic about the future but i really miss him now :tears:

    (he left really quickly on the last day too...i think he looked a bit emotional...but maybe thats just my imagination...
     
  2. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    You had a great hook-up, apparently, and that kicks ass. But now you're stuck mooning over somebody whom you can't have. Actually, you're now mooning over an idealized version of somebody whom you can't have. Try to keep that in mind, thank him for a great night, and start casting your eyes elsewhere. :slight_smile:

    Lex