I know, stupid title. You know what, i dont care. So basically im gay. 14. Catholic private high school with about 1700 students. Big group of friends. Awesome family. And well, i feel pretty awful. Heres why. So recently my mom has been really interested in my social life specifically who i like... And so randomly she asked me if i was gay. She was like if you are i am totally supportive and all that stuff. And of course i told her no and laughed it off. Now im just unhappy cuz i feel like i cant ever tell her. My family would be so supportive, but i just cant do it. Also my school thinks im str8. And like it would be so weird if i came out anytime, but i feel like i could never be happy if i dont. Im depressed, and sick. Im stressed and just so tired of having to lie every day. I feel like a compulsive liar, always commenting on girls and like saying straight things. I have like a freaking double personality. I hate it. What should i do:help::bang::tears:
Hey there! I know exactly where you're coming from, I was in that position myself a little under a year ago. Just a question, Do you know you're Gay and the straight things are just an act? Or do you actually have feelings for the girls too. One easier (opinionated) thing to do would to be to come out as Bisexual if you feel that way. to be honest I came out as Bi first, just so I could ease everyone into the fact that I like guys. Then gave it a couple months, and all my friends and family were really cool about it. you say that you have a great support system, so I say to go for it! Coming out will make your life so much easier, and will make you a happier person in general. If you're worried about losing friends over it, the way I see it, a "Friend" will support you in any decision that you make, and will be there for you no matter what. Do what's best for YOU, because that's who matters the most in the end, it's gonna be hard to love someone else, when you hate yourself! Good luck and let me know what happens!
I think your mom understands that the concept of a figurative closet is a thing. Being "closeted" doesn't just mean you don't tell anybody; it means you may have to lie to keep people from thinking you're gay. If she really is supportive, she'll forgive telling her you're straight until you were ready to tell her the truth.
Take your time and feel better about it. Nobody can out you just by asking a question. That right is yours alone, and you respond however you judge to be right. Tell anyone you feel comfortable telling and keep it as secret as you want to. Start with someone you know will support you though, it's better to have someone who can watch this process unfold. Better to have someone in your life you can talk to about your approach and the results. I suspect that straight people generally don't understand what it's like to be in the closet. But trusting someone with your first reveal is a powerful way to build that understanding. They will have a rare chance to experience and grasp some of the challenges and triumphs you experience, because they were lucky enough to be there at the beginning. When you're ready, tell someone you trust, and ask if you can keep them updated on how the process goes for you. Let them know you want to include them in your journey because you trust and appreciate them, their advice, and their attention.
