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what to talk about when coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by purplekitty, Sep 20, 2013.

  1. purplekitty

    Regular Member

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    Okay so it looks like the only times I feel comfortable talking about myself on here are in the middle of the night. I guess being tired removes some of my inhibitions. :lol: Anyways, on to the topic that actually relates to the title of the thread. I think I've got my whole gender and sexual identity pretty figured out. But I have questions about pacing when it comes to coming out. When I tell my family about it (I don't really have close friends to tell first. Besides, my dad is my closest friend anyway.), should I explain everything? Just throw everything on the table, labels and self analysis and everything? Explain my gender and sexual identity one after the other?

    Okay so that paragraph wasn't very coherent. What I'm trying to ask is should I reveal everything at once? Or should I space the reveals out (and by how much)? On one hand, if I do everything at once, I can get it over with and come "clean" all in one go. But this could be overwhelming news for some people (or not, I have no idea how much people have guessed). If it is overwhelming, it would probably be mean to bull-dose through everything. But if I space it out, wouldn't it be awkward to try to bring the subject up again, especially if the conversation didn't turn out so well the first time?

    I would appreciate some advice because as you can probably tell, my mind is being plagued by what ifs. :help:
     
  2. penguin machine

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    I'd say make the conversation coherent, and just be patient. Any time you tell your parent you have to tell them something, I'm sure their heart races just as much as yours does. Consider that they'll be listening and all you really need to do is explain yourself. Let them know that they can ask questions and ask them how they feel about your news. Gender identity and sexual orientation are slightly different topics, so you'll need to take a bit of a break in between to discuss them. With absolutely no experience in this area, I would presume that talking about your sexual orientation first would be easier.