Hi everyone. Thanks for taking time to read my post. I am a 19 year old sophomore in college. And yes, i'm gay, and in the closet to everyone except my parents, who don't accept it. I work for the athletic department at my school. Specifically, I am the main camera guy for the football team. We played our first away game at another school this past Saturday, and I filmed next to that school's camera person, a girl. After the game, the coaches and other staff were saying to me: "wow, she was good looking, wasn't she?", and "did you get her number?" I had no idea how to respond to this. I had no interest in looking at her. I did not find her attractive, because I don't find women attractive in that way. I brushed off the question and told them "no, I was busy doing my job". How should I respond in situations like this? If they ever find out my secret, I fear it will change the way EVERYONE at the college looks at me (even though they say they are OK with homosexuality) Should I just brush off their questions, or just tell them i'm wasn't attracted to the person they're referring to?
I just ignore comments like that or find ways to change the subject. I just don't feel the need to tell everyone my personal business. That being said, someone I had just met was trying to hook me up with one of her friends. I told her I would have to ask my boyfriend. Made my whole day.
Hi, and welcome to EC. The experience you're having is common to people who are closeted, and I can totally remember feeling that way myself. The challenge is, as long as you're being someone other than yourself (which you are when you answer questions like the ones posed inauthentically), it continues to make you feel crappy about yourself. So in the short term, the best you can do is evade and avoid, pretty much as you did. In the longer term, though, you need to start thinking about coming out and what that will mean. You'll be surprised to find out that, actually, most people in college really won't give a crap. I used to live in Ohio, and knew a lot of people from a bunch of different colleges there and even years ago, people were pretty open and accepting. It's only gotten better since then. Yes, it's really scary to think about peeking your head out from the closet. But once you do... I think you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel about yourself, and how much your life will change in a positive way. I'm not suggesting doing anything tomorrow or next week.... just that you start thinking about it and beginning to take steps to peek out of the closet
Sports in general can be neanderthal. It's known as the last closet. Don't allow what might be rampant homophobia in the AD skew your perception of the general student population. You can be out at school and pretty accepted and not tell the team? Gay isn't a scandal as it used to be. It's not like the entire campus will find out, nor would you be the only one by any stretch. If you tell them you aren't into the girl, the follow up will be "What, are you gay?" So i mean, you need to figure these things out ahead of time, otherwise you'll either blurt it out unintended or you'll feel like shit when you don't say anything. Or you can tell them. One thing to consider without knowing your situation, you're not on the actual team. This means you don't need to fear them but also they can just avoid you and that's it. I doubt any serious bullying will happen to the camera guy. They would be risking too much and have other things to focus on.
If you really don't want people to know, take up the I-respect-women character. Such a role will also likely increase people's respect of you. It's all about if you're willing to play the good part. However, once I go to college, I'll be having rainbow flames shooting about my head like a halo ^.^ not literally of course
