Religion is a powerful tool in the hands of parents and other child caretakers. When the ordinary means of discipline begin to fail in the rearing of kids, religion rears its ugly head by putting emphasis on what punishment is awaiting children who disobey, chiefly "what God will do to you if you don't listen to your elders." SIN means "mistake," but it becomes an offense against religious belief that is far more serious than a simple error in ordinary cases. It means a sort of mini-damnation that can bring about real fears of not only being called to the carpet by adults but by a condemnation of a heavenly power that can send you to the blazing fires. "SCARY?" Hell, yes! Perhaps one of the most significant uses of the concept of sin is the wielding of the threat that if a kid is enjoying a bit of sex play (masturbation for example) in the secrecy of his/her bedroom, and has been warned that such a practice is an offense against God, the sense of guilt that arises in the kid's mind is, at a minimum, a troubling concern; more so, however, is that a child can feel devasted that he/she has done something "wrong" and deserves punishment, and until he/she is punished, one way or another, a chronic sense of guilt continues to prevail to cause untold emotional misery for the kid. This is a kind of Child Abuse that can be considered even worse than a physical beating. The kid thinks about the good sensation of sex, but feel unworthy of deserving the affection of adults, or even their peers. A "black cloud" hovers over a child's head, who has "disgraced" himself/herself by submitting to this temptation, and can cause further emotional damage. The kids feel rejected, if only in their own minds, by the adults who control their lives. Of course, this is an extreme example of cases that fall in this category; but, I don't think it rare. The "rejection" feeling may be self-imposed, and not necessarily one that is actual. But, that does not change the facts that a child might conceive that is what would be the case if his/her parents suddenly found out about this passion for self-gratification. Many kids, for example, think that by revealing these urges (sins?) to their elders, they will be treated with scorn and, also, be expelled from their homes. Especially if the case is one of same-gender sex with a peer, or an older person. In that situation the "sin" is compounded by society's unwelcomed attitude towards such a "perversion." There are varieties of child abuses: apathy, or indifference, abandonment, physical cruelty, and so on; but, to use religion as a weapon to control naturtal (even normal) biological drives by labeling them "SINS," is as monstrous a practice as any other form of abuse. Paladin
I take it you really don't like religion This is your 2nd thread about religion, in the 1st thread most of what you said we already know. I'm not bashing you in anyway, what you post can still be useful for some people.
Thanks for the comment JSG. This is but one of the topics that deserves to be repeated because religion has scarred many people through the ages. I am just pointing out the bad side of the practices, but I do think that many people have a need to know that beliefs can be as destructive as other means of control if taken without a grain of salt. I take no offense to your remarks. I'm happy to be confronted with other opinions. As I have previously declared, opinions are not necessarily documentable. Your opinions are the source of your knowledge and experiences, and, perhaps, you can enlighten me also. What seems important, however, is that we are not just expressing opinions to enlarge our ego demands, but to contribute to a dialogue that will lead to better understanding. Hmmm! gay and 18? I remember those golden days, which not forgotten but memories that have receded into a sort of cul de sac. You are French? So am I. A Celt with a sense of humor. French descent on both sides, mainly from Bretaigne & Anjou. If your up to it, I'll be glad to expand on the issues that I have written so far. Short themes are hard to handle because they don't usually explain much. My teaching career has stifled my long-winded explanations. Anyway, if you have a craving for some intellectual food, then let's have lunch. Paladin
I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church. I was actually taught by one of my favorite people growing up that masturbating was okay. I'm sure she wouldn't have suggested it be okay if you were fantasizing about your own sex but still I thought she was rather "progressive" for our church. However, I did see religion used in some really bad ways against children including telling very young children that if they didn't sit down and behave they were going to hell. How scary is that for a 5 year old child?
My parents were both very religious people. Still are, actually. They've always been totally accepting of me and my partner, and have never been anything but supportive. Maybe that makes them lousy Christians in your eyes, but I think just the opposite. Lex
Hello Lexington: why should you worry that your parents "look bad in my eyes?" I don't usually pass judgement on such trivial perceptions. Already you're prepared to think I am writing on this site to judge others. You're quite wrong, of course. Now I suggest you give this some thought. Did I address you in particular? I never heard of you before this message. You don't know what I think about anything except what I have written here. Give your parents a congratulation from me, they deserve to be commended for being good and reasonable folks. As for you, Lexington, try to show a little tolerance yourself. In the spirit of friendship, Paladin
hmmmm, Paladin, Lexington in no way meant that in a degrading way towards you, even though it may have sounded that way. I have known him for long enough by reading his posts that he is nothing but incredibly insightful and amazing. I think sometimes it is hard to see what people truly mean when they write it... Lex is a well respected member of the EC community, please try to look for the insight he was trying to bring to the discussion instead jumping to the defensive. I think what he meant, was that a good christian doesnt necissarily need to be one that follows everything that the church preaches. I also think he wanted to show that not all christians are bad; and in turn, I think he was trying to get at the idea, that religion and faith isnt wholly a bad thing. Anyways, I just posted a sick documentary discussing Religion and Sexuality in the Chit Chat section, I think its worth a look.
I could relate to much of what was written in the original post, but religion wasn't the least bit involved. It was simply my parents' outlook on sex, and their total lack of guidance other than to give the impression that it was wrong - that pushed me into an isolation that it took me a couple of decades to break free from. So religion, while it can be a contributing factor, doesn't need to be present to cause the same kind of 'abuse' to a child.
To: Jim1454: Where did your "parents' outlook" arise from? Why did they consider this "wrong?" What moral standards were they referring to? What was their justification for considering sex to be an evil. That morality must have come from some dungeon somewhere. Anyway, you're right, the abuse remains, the cause, however, is not well-defined. Paladin
The cause is easily defined: people want to be right, and they want their sense of right to be the sense of right to be everyone else's sense of right.
Alexander: I just replied to your other message, which you posted on the other site. Read that one. Am I right: I think you're lonely and want to talk about some of those things in the world that seem confusing to you. I may not be the person to communicate with but I am willing to try. Do what you think will please youi. Paladin
