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I Really Like This Guy, But Am Unsure About Coming Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Stompy, Sep 24, 2013.

  1. Stompy

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    There's this guy at school who is handsome, athletic, and really cute, but I don't know if he's gay, or, more importantly, if he likes me. We'll talk occasionally in math class, and today I came really close to coming out to him, but the bell rang and he left before I could. First of all, I think he likes me because he talks to me, smiles, says hi and stuff like that. I really like him too but I am very awkward, largely because I have mild autism (aspergsers) and am nervous about coming out, so talking to him takes some nerve. However, today I finally thought of putting on a brave face and getting over with it, but, like many things, that just didn't work out as planned. Now that I really think about it, maybe I should get to know him a bit more, and drop a few hints, before I make any such move. It could be much safer that way...
    What do you guys think?
     
  2. Siarad

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    This is pot calling kettle black because I'm only just starting to come out myself (at 28( ! ) ) but it may be worth making moves towards coming out. However it might potentially make more sense to start by coming out to someone you aren't attracted to... do you have any friends you feel you could trust enough to come out to? It might be worth establishing a sense of yourself as an out gay guy in your own right before you worry too much about this guy. It might also be that if he is gay and is attracted to you and you come out that it will give him the confidence to come out to you. (This is just my tuppence worth though and more established, longer out members may disagree with me!)
     
    #2 Siarad, Sep 24, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2013
  3. Stompy

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    I appreciate the advice, but the problem is that quite a few of my friends are quite homophobic and would probably not take the news well, and these are people I have known for years. There's also the risk that my crush doesn't take the news well, and I am outed or worse.
     
  4. bscott92

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    I wouldn't make a move before you know, but I also wouldn't tell him in the hall. I would go for a more private setting where you won't be worried about other people hearing...and he won't either. Or there has to be someone else you can trust and will accept you for who you are.
     
  5. ianm

    ianm Guest

    I think that is a very good idea for you to do. I know whats it like to have that kind of autism because i have it and it has cased me to be very nervouse in talking to people. But more about the issue if he likes you. What i would do is what you said youd do. It well help things a lot if you get to know him and drop little hints. Altho i would not take my advice iv never really had a crush on someone in my school, so sorry if my hints dont help i tried tho sorry. I wish you luck tho, and yes i know this is a little late so sorry.
     
  6. Werbinich

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    The receiving end of a crush is always knowing, like my crush, he already had the hunch that I like him four months previous to me coming out to him and telling him how I feel, though he was the one that said that he knows that I like him and he isn't [gay]. Although this is certainly not a universal scenario, you could use my story as reference and decide what you'd do.

    Good Luck!
     
  7. ianm

    ianm Guest

    (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2013 at 01:55 PM ----------

    (&&&)

    ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2013 at 01:56 PM ----------

    (!)

    ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2013 at 02:00 PM ----------

    :smilewave
     
    #7 ianm, Sep 29, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2013