I just recently started trying to accept myself for who I am, and it's been really rough. No one knows that I've been questioning my sexuality for as long as I remember, and no one knows that I've been fighting myself for just as long. I don't know how to take the first step to accept myself because even though I know the truth, I've been struggling to accept it. I can just feel myself giving up.
Something that could help you is talking about it with someone you know will support you. It can take you some time to accept it :icon_wink but talking about it, about what you feel can help.
I guess I just don't know if there really is anyone I can trust to support me. Unfortunately, I haven't really confided very much in anyone, to have someone i know i can trust right now. I guess that's the downfall of keeping to yourself mostly.
Ow I see... You can also start here, writing about your experiences or about what you think/feel :icon_wink
That's what I'm relying on right now. I hope this can help me see how other people deal with similar situations and come out on top. It's really difficult though. Thank you for responding to this thread... I really appreciate it...
No problem :icon_wink Well, in my case it took me a couple of..I would say years. Even if I came out for the 1st time like 2.5 years ago to one of my bests friends I wasn't that sure about me liking girls. I mean I liked girl since I was like 13 bout denied it to myself or didn't paid any attention to it. After I came out, it started to talk more about with this friend and I remember him asking me if I was sure about, specially to come out to my family (which I didn't do yet ). By then, I wasn't that sure...but now I am sure that I like girls, and that I want to be in a relationship with one. I could say that something that helped was when for the first time I felt something for a girl, something that I've never felt for a boy (even if I'm still questioning about the bi/gay thing ).
I think that's my main issue right now, that I'm not 100% sure how I feel about girls. I know there's something there, but I've never pursued something with one so I can't tell. I've dated guys, and I've definitely been in love with one, but I feel like that doesn't really mean anything anymore. Every time I've had feelings for a girl it's felt different than when I've had feelings for a guy. It feels more intense, more passionate and I think it's important for me to see how I feel actually being with a girl romantically. Maybe that'll help me accept how I feel. But I don't know how to go about doing that.
First step in accepting yourself: Maybe it's okay to not be straight. Maybe such a fact wouldn't mean that I'm a bad person or that my life'll be miserable. Second step: It's okay to not be straight. I'm not a bad person, and my life doesn't have to be miserable. If you're anywhere near those two steps, you're on the right track, and you've come to a great place to help you work this out with you. As for what your attractions are... It can help to not stress over it, and to not overly worry about it. People can work themselves into a fit over relatively minor issues, and while I'm not saying that that's the case in this instance, it's still something to keep in mind. Some questions you could ask yourself (Rhetorical ones): Am I attracted to guys/girls/both/neither sexually? How about romantically? Could I imagine dating a guy/girl/both, living with and marrying them? That's just a start. Sexuality and gender is more nuanced than that, but... it's a start. Also, in your day to day life, what do you find yourself thinking about in terms of your attraction to others? What kinds of people catch your eye? What kinds of people intrigue you? Things like that might help to put things into perspective. There might not necessarily be a neat and tidy answer to it all — and that's okay. But thinking over these things might help to give you a sense of empowerment about yourself in that you'd more fully be aware of your attractions to others. There's no guarantee that all of it together might fit under a convenient label, but that's okay, too. You're a unique person, just like everyone else. It might help to compare attractions to how every one individual perceives colour. Technically, everyone would see things differently than anyone else (In theory, barring the extremely negligible probability of people with the same colour-processing in the brain, same amount of cone cells, etc. But I digress). Labels are convenient, but the fact is that sometimes they just don't fit as well as they could, and are sometimes restrictive. But if you do think using a label would be helpful and convenient (As I do, for instance), then feel free to use one. But don't get hung up over not having one, basically.
I think you have already taken a massive step towards accepting yourself by posting here. Trying to deal with it all on your own within your head is sooooooooo difficult, I always found I was going round and round in circles and driving myself insane but when I joined EC and chatted with people here I found that there were other people like me, and chatting with people that understand really helped.
