I have a big family , lots and lots of cousins .. We are all very close and religious beliefs are just beyond. I think one day when I come out , I'm no longer be apart of them and it's gonna be an embarrassment for them. I have a feeling they wouldn't want to be associated with me , although my mum believes that gay people are born like that but you can cure it or just marry the opposite sex and yeah your forgiven. I also have 4 siblings , 2 sisters and 2 brothers. My 2 brothers caught me looking at photos of cute guys and yeah they told me If I become gay they will never accept me and they would disown me. I came out to my other sister , she was fine with it but she thinks it's a sin and If I don't want to go to hell then I can always repent. So Basically , they still think I'm straight ..I was just having a phase. It hurts me , because If I lose them...all of my family including the farthest relatives would not talk to me. It's hypocritical really. I'm even scared that they will have all these thoughts when I babysat my cousins they will probably think of some messed up stuff and they would probably never ever let me near them again. It hurts , I cry everytime I think about this. I am moving to Europe however , and reinvent myself..as in be who I really am. Hopefully in Europe , I will have a job , a place to stay and some friends and maybe find love. From that , I will come out to my parents and I wouldn't even care if they don't accept me and cut the communication between me and them;because I will be in a different country ,they can't do anything to me so yeah. It hurts me really bad , I even thought of commiting suicide but I decided it's not worth it.. I love who I am and finding love and finding the right place seems such an exciting opportunity (!) So would you guys have any tips on how to prepare myself for this? how to cope with the loss ? Oh I might lose some friends too :help:
Move first, build your circle of supportive friends who will be your "family of choice" who accept you as you are, and then don't bother to tell your other family anything unless they reach out to you. If they find out eventually and don't want to communicate with you, it will not matter as much; they have chosen arbitrary religious "beliefs" over the reality of who you are and the history and DNA that ties all of you together. You won't lose any friends worth keeping. You have also reached the correct conclusion that killing yourself because of someone else's screwed up beliefs makes no sense whatsoever. It sounds to me like you already have your head screwed on right; all you have to do is turn your plans into actions. Good luck and bon voyage!
