Hey everyone, This is just a little rant I'm having. So, like I'm pretty comfortable with being gay. I'm actually comfortable enough to where I really don't care what people know or think (obviously there are a few exceptions). But as I was saying, I want some people to know just because I get annoyed when they do certain things (like trying to set me up with girls, etc). I understand they think I'm straight because I don't fit a lot of the stereotypes like many people. Anyways, so I guess I've really been trying to get the point across to my roommate who loves making comments about girls to me and stuff. He doesn't do it out of malice, he just thinks that this girl and I would be great together. Plus, let's be honest, if I ever start dating he's going to half to know. I know he would be comfortable with it, and most people in general I know would be too, but when I come out I don't want to have a "sit down come to Jesus meeting" announcing to the whole world loud and proud who I am. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that, but I just really don't feel like I should have to sit down and explain who I am. Anyways, what I've been trying to do lately is make subtle hints all of the time. For instance, he'll ask me why I don't date this one girl who I seriously love and I'll reply, "It's complicated." He'll tell me to go get laid and get a girlfriend and I just laugh. He mentions a hot girl on tv and I say "SHE'S not my type (really emphasizing the she part)." But he just doesn't get it. And honestly I'm just using my roommate as a story. I do this with other people too and still, no response. I really don't know what the purpose of the rant was, but I feel better haha. Anyone have any ideas or anything?
Well, the next time he does it, you could just go: "Nah, I bat for the other team." Or something along that line. If he doesn't eve catch that, the next time you could just be really direct and say: "Nah, I'm gay" If you don't want to come out to him, you're gonna have to put up with it.
Heteronormativity is so deeply engrained that you're going to have to be pretty explicit to make people realize that you are not heterosexual. I have literally called guys cute out loud in front of my friends [momentary lapses in sanity on my part], and still not so much as one of them have ever guessed - or even considered - that I'm Bisexual.
LILuke: Gay or straight, all of us can tell who the "cute" guys are; they don't have to hold up their hands. Your friends probably look at the same person you are looking at, see that he is indeed cute, and thus take no note of it, unless they think it is unusual for anyone to SAY out loud what they are also thinking, once you point it out. Skov: If you want your friend to acknowledge that you are bi, just tell him, and also tell him that if he wants to set you up with dates to please send you only gay men, because you already have a girl friend. If he ignores that, he would have to be pretty dense. Since you say you don't care who knows, why not make it crystal clear to him and solve at least that one problem at home.
I know exactly how you feel. I feel I've dropped hints before and nothing. A few weeks ago at school, one of my friends came to my school to practice for the joint school musical production (I go to an all boys school, she goes to an all girls school, and they're literally right next to each other). We were chatting at lunch time, while my friends played foursquare. Afterwards they kept asking if I liked her and told me that they were going to ask her out for me! I couldn't bring myself to just say "I'm gay." I thought they may have figured it out for themselves by then. Like TheMailman said, if you don't clear it up, you're gonna have to put up with it. I'm waiting for National Coming Out Day. It's only two weeks away. Yossarian: While I agree, I think it depends on how mature the people around you are. Some of my friends would not find it unusual, because they agree, like you said, but others would instantly insult anyone who does so.
Thanks everyone! I was just kind of irritated lat night when I made this. I said I don't care if people know, but deep down I know I sort of do.
