Hey everyone! So... A few weeks ago was when I realized I'm a lesbian. I told my Mom, Sister, Dad, Grandma, and my Aunts know as well. They all accept me and I'm grateful for that, but I didn't know I was gay until my past caught up with me. There's this girl Liz that I met in the 4th grade. We became really close, we'd hang out at her house a lot... And during the school year I began to have feelings for her. I never felt this way about anyone before. So one day when I was at her place, Liz told me she liked me and because I know I liked her too I told her that I did. Well then we'd hold hands and cuddle. Nothing more. However Liz told her mom about us and one day caught her holding me. So she pulled Liz out of the room and was really mad. Then Liz told me I wasn't allowed over that her house anymore... Because her mom was against gays. After that I stopped talking to her and as the years pasted we ended up going to the same schools. It was easy to stay out of her way though. We never had one class together after 4th grade. But now we're both 10th graders in High School and well... She comes around my classroom all the time. See there's this new boy in the class this year his name in Jose. He's her ex boyfriend... Which makes things really awkward... But anyways she came around at first to say hi to him, and then would just come and talk to our teachers. I don't know why, but she just always loved to suck up with them. Now though she comes around, doesn't say hi to Jose as much... Because she seems to be coming for me now. A few weeks ago she tried to catch me in the halls, but I wasn't ready to talk so I ran away from her. It was the end of the day so I was able to get to my locker, and leave for home without her getting to me easily. Then the next day at 7th hour my class was playing the Wii. It was Friday and we always do fun things on Fridays. Anyways so she came in and I was watching two of my friends play Just Dance and she stood right next to me. I was too nervous to speak though and she kept looking at me. Then she left and went on to her class and yeah. So this week she began stuff again. On Wednesday she came in when people were getting to their 1st hour class. The teachers weren't there and it was only me and two other class mates at the time who were in there. She stood there in the front of the class, looked at my friends for a second and then me... We looked at each other for a moment, but then I looked back down at the book I was reading and I looked up again to see her looking at the ground with a really sad look on her face. Then she left the room... Then the next day at the end of 7th hour we cooked and brought our food back to the class to eat real quick before the bell rung, but we made muffins and put powered sugar and strawberries on them. Don't get me wrong I would've loved to have one... However I didn't want to keep my dad waiting since he was picking me up that day. So I was about to tell my cooking teacher that I didn't want one and if I could go to my locker and be ready by the time the bell rang. Well before I could do that Liz came in and was asking what we were dong (Jose wasn't there again) And she stood close to me. Then I asked if I could go and my cooking teacher said yes. Then one of my other friends offered to walk down to my locker with me and so we left and as we did Liz wouldn't stop looking at me. I knew it looked like I just wanted to get out of there because she came in... But that wasn't it. It just happened to be bad timing. Then the next day which was this last Friday. So like 2 days ago, she came in at a little after 1 pm. We were having our homecoming parade that day since it was homecoming week. Anyways the tables for the later lunch hours weren't set up so Liz asked our teachers to eat in there and my teachers said yes. So she sat down at the table at the front of the classroom, ate, and talked to the teachers. Then when she finished she looked around at my friends again, and I wanted to make a move... I was gonna try to lock eyes with her and smile. To see if she'd smile back. Then she looked away on purpose, but I could see her looking at me out of the corner of her eye. Then I looked at my desk and I guess I must of looked sad because she looked at me all surprised and I looked up at her again. We locked eyes for a second before I got all flustered and looked away. Then she left the room and that's the last time I saw her this past week... Anyways a few weeks ago I was thinking about Liz, and all of my crushes and I realized I'm into girls and only girls... Also I have it pretty bad for Liz. My feelings for her are still there and they're really strong. I don't know what to do about this. It's driving me nuts. I am gonna talk to my counselor about it on Tuesday though. That's the day we have our once a week sessions.Also back when we didn't talk, I'd say that I didn't like Liz because she was snobby ad stuck up, because I didn't know what else to do to hide what really happened. I told my family the truth about Liz too. And they're supportive. I know they've got my back in this which makes me feel good. I really wanna break the ice with Liz, and have a real relationship one of these days. I just hope her mother still isn't against Les and Gays. So any tips for me? I could really use some...
