struggling on the inside with this

hello,
I decided to come here and write this because lately I have been struggling on the inside.
Its been wrapping my insides out like a snake and today at work I was suffering muscle pain when I was thinking deeply about with what feels like a ever increasing desire to come out to my family and few friends about being Bi.

See I feel pretty strongly about being independent and my own person but at the same time I do struggle with trying to be a people pleaser or at the very least not in the crosshairs of discussion.
I have taken a stand before, when I came out as a agnostic in a very Christian family and to the church I was deeply involved with, and that was a difficult experience,
but a few months ago me and my girlfriend broke up after 1.5 years and so I have been
back on the dating scene,

I am going on a date this week as a matter of fact but with another man.
I lately have been really struggling with having to be secretive and lately I feel like I have become stuck between coming out and facing those challenges, or hiding with the idea that I can't hide forever and its starting to really hurt.
this week I have started drinking every other night in binges and I have wanted to talk so badly to anyone about this but my family, my community and my workplace vary from little to extreme homophobes.
I want to have a relationship with a man right now and if that really happens, I feel like things have to change and its been eating me up in worry and fear.
I just wanted to express some of my feelings right now.