I had kinda been wondering if I was actually a lesbian for a while, not being concerned about it, I don't feel it warrants concern, just, I wasn't sure. But now... I've realized something kind of strange. I am sexually attracted to both girls and guys, however, for some odd reason... I don't trust guys enough to be anymore than friends with them. Not even close friends, in fact, simply just acquaintance type friends, where you'll chat and hang out but not about anything really personal. I've been asked out on three different occasions by three different guys, and said no every time, because I just don't trust them enough to date them. And two of the guys were really nice and not bad looking either. :bang: Now, maybe if I were to try dating a guy, I'd realize I could trust them more than I do... but, I'd hate to try and then have to tell them at some point that, sorry but "I don't trust you- you're a guy". That's just cruel. What's truly strange about it, is that as far as I can remember I've had no negative experiences with guys that would give logical reasoning to my mistrust of them. I don't hate guys either... not by a long shot. Me and my dad get along pretty well. I just, I don't get it. I'm not worried about it, I don't feel any sort of need to date guys, but I'd kind of like to understand this. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.
Hi! I think what it could be is that you have developed somewhere along the line a resistance to dating guys. Maybe there is a part of you that wants to be more lesbian than bisexual and not being able to trust guys is a reaction to it. In other words, this is how you've come to confirm your identity at a subconscious level. Your resistance to build any kind of a relationship with a guy might be a sign that you are afraid that you will just end up hurting people including yourself and you've identified that already with "I'd realize I could trust them more than I do... but, I'd hate to try and then have to tell them at some point that, sorry but "I don't trust you- you're a guy". That's just cruel." It is possible that you have begun the process of a second coming out which is perfectly normal. Often we go through life trying different things until we find something with which we are truly comfortable with. I hope this is of some help!
I totally understand what you mean about not trusting guys. Most of my friends are guys, but it takes me a long time to get to trusting them. I guess it's just that their brains don't work the same way as ours do. My mom is totally paranoid and thinks every guy walking down the street is out to rape me, and my birth father left my birth mother to deal with me, so maybe that's the reasoning behind my situation. But guys are different. Maybe, since it seemed in your post like you might WANT to date them, maybe it's just not what feels right to you to get close to a guy. Whatever it is, just do whatever feels right
Agreed with Asteroid, I could possibly be going through the resistance-to-dating-guys thing as well. If you ask me, just go with how you feel. If you crush on a girl, go for her. If you crush on a guy, go for him. It doesn't matter if you're not completely on the 'gay' side of the scale.
I myself am I bisexual male. I feel that I Can't trust guys either. The majority of them have let me down. Which is the reason why I choose to be friends with girls, because females are more dependable. Is there such a thing as a "Male Femenist" I think that's what I'm becoming. I can't trust many males anymore.
