I feel like when I tell my dad, that I should say something more than "I'm gay". But I can't think of the words. Most of the other times I've come out to someone, it seemed like the exact perfect time to say something. Meaning, that the other person asked, or the opprotunity presented itself. But when I told my mom, she had already figured it out, and it was more me saying it so she would stop asking if I was ready or not. Is just saying "I'm gay" too blunt? I feel like I should start with saying something like "I have something I want to tell you" and go from there. Does anyone who's been in this situation have any suggestions?
Write him a letter of everything you want to say then allow him to digest what you've written. Like my mum told me, your love for your child can't just be turned off like a light switch.
My initial plan for telling my mom was writing her a letter, but I told her before I ended up writing it. I think saying it might be easier than writing it, if that makes sense.
Hi there! You can always start the conversation with It could make it easier on you, and prepare your dad a little bit for the following words. If you feel that your dad already suspects and he is waiting for you to speak with him, chose the more 'direct' approach, and say "Dad, I want to confirm your suspicions. I'm gay." It does make sense. Everybody has their own preferred way of coming out. Choose the route with which you feel most comfortable. If you feel comfortable coming out in person, and talking about it, go for it.
Do the "I have something to tell you / something i want to share." Two words is too blunt and potentially shocking.
Don't worry about being blunt. Think of it as ripping off a bandaid. You don't peal it off slowly. You rip it off as fast as you can. that way, it hurts less. If you're scared about telling him, then saying "I'm gay" is the perfect way of doing it. It takes a split second of courage and then, there's no going back.
I would say, that if you're doing it face to face then it would be better to keep it straight to the point. That way it's over and done with. Sometimes if you beat it round the bush you dig a bigger hole for yourself and make things ten times harder than what they need to be. I'm sure when you tell him, he will have plenty of questions that he wants to ask you. So be prepared for that! On the other hand, if you wanted to say something more than just "I'm gay", I guess you could write a letter. That way you can get all your feelings down on paper, without being interrupted or muddling them all up.
You souldn't drag it out too long, but if you think he doesn't suspect any thing you might want to give him a second or so's warning. Just a sentance; something along the line of "Dad, I have something I want to share with you" make it sound postive though so that he knows this isn't a bad thing. Then get straight to the point. There'll be plenty of time to explain more once you've said it. And like GArchi1992 said be ready to answer any questions. Good luck!!
I believe you shouldn't take too much time with the wording, and just make it fast; like a bandaid. Maybe just start off with: "There's something I've been meaning to tell you...I'm gay." and voila! Good luck.
Best of luck with coming out. My only suggestion is that you prepare your self to answer questions he might have after you tell him to help him understand.
You could take a leaf out of Mark Twain's book and say "Reports of my heterosexuality have been greatly exaggerated." xD [The actual quote was "Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated" after obituaries of him started cropping up even though he was still alive]
I've successfully came out to three people in three ways. Face to face (counselor) Phone (friend and initial crush) Letter (home room teacher) "I'm gay" might be shocking but straight to the point. Depends on how you think your dad might react. Good luck!
