Coming out while still questioning? I posted about this in the orientation forum but since no one answered and I'm still in need of some advice I guess I'll try my luck here too Have any of you come out without labeling your sexuality? I'm not sure if I'm gay or bi, but I don't want to continue pretending (or w/e) to be straight when I'm very..not straight. How do you come out when you're not even sure what the hell you are? :icon_sad: Can I just come out as a unicorn and call it a day?
I considered it, but decided in the nd itvwould be best to wait until I was certain. That was so I could be prepared for any questions or criticism.
Thank you for your replies. Maybe it's best to figure evertything out first, it's just hard staying closeted :/
Hey, it's ok to come out as questioning. When I started coming out, it wasn't at ALL with all that confidence and clarity that was advised. But it was ok. Sure, I couldn't answer all the questions that were coming my way yet, but I've found a lot of support, and most people I've told won't be surprised if the opportunity to change my name or transition arises and I take it. In fact, some people have wondered when it's happening, and others are just patiently waiting for me to tell them more as I get more sure of myself. I am waiting to tell most people I know until I'm more confident though.
I came out when I was confused, but didn't realize I was confused though. That doesn't make sense huh?
I have come out to a few friends and family members, and I am still fighting my confusion/repression. I find this works best for me, because if I waited until I was 100% sure of my sexuality then I might never come out, or I might talk myself into thinking that I was straight. I kind of look at it as an opportunity to practice being honest, and get the ball rolling. Saying something out loud to another person can be a transformative experience. Thinking about it constantly, without sharing where I am, can be maddening.
I came out to a very close friend while still questioning. After stuttering a bit and beating round the bush I finally said "I'm about as straight as the average questionmark" (rough translation sorry) Just being able to talk about it to someone help me figure it all out. It was a chance to be free of labels to one person. But I knew she would be supportive, because she has a lesbian aunt with whom she is very close. i knew if any of my friends would be able to understand and help it would be her. She started casually asking questions and just formulating answers made me feel more and more comfrotable and sure that I am gay. Starting to live as yourself would make it easier to know which label fits.
I would come out to just one person. My best friend has been my strength through my entire process of figuring stuff out and I won't trade that for the world. Its helps you feel like your not alone while not ruining relationships over something that might turn out to be nothing. Just take the time you need and find the support of that one person. Good luck and stay strong
Yeah I have no desire shouting it from the rooftops so coming out to just one close friend to begin with is a good idea, I'll try to gather up the courage to tell my best friend soon. I am worried she will see me as a liar and question my not coming out sooner though ---------- Post added 6th Oct 2013 at 02:58 AM ---------- lol love this
A lot of gay people come out as bi at first just to test the waters. If you are tired of hiding it (and I know the feeling), just say that you're bi, and that way, you leave your options open. Then, if you do decide one day that you're a lesbian, your family will understand. I know it's not ideal, but it's better than them thinking you're straight when you're definitely not. Good luck.
