Dating a closeted person

I've once been in a relationship where the both of us were closeted. I quickly told my parents about our relationship but other than that pretty much no one knew.

In my experience it's not an ideal situation. There was too much focus on the pressure of coming out and wanting the other to come out. I think it's what has been the main reason that we broke up after a month. We couldn't enjoy the relationship as much. I wanted him to tell at least his parents about me because they knew we were close, just not that close, and he knew they would be totally accepting of it. But he didn't tell them and that caused me a lot of stress, for example. Aside from that, I had to lie to my friends partly because he did not want me to tell them, and just hiding it in general can be a tedious task.

Now that I'm getting closer to being completely out, I feel more comfortable in looking for a partner. I think it makes the relationship more enjoyable.

 

I really struggle with this question as well so I am not really fit to offer any advice. Sometimes I think it would be really nice to meet someone and debate about opening myself up to that world. However, I personally feel it would be unfair to the other person as I cannot even think about coming out to my family. For me this means I might not ever be able to be with someone I truly love.
Your situation seems slightly different and in your case the person might be able to be a pillar of support when you are coming out. Honestly, if you have found someone you think might be their for you and will accept you for who you are (out or not) you should hold on to them.

 

I'm not out to my parents so unfortunitally I do believe dating would just b a very difficult situation and very stressfull but if I like a girl who is showing interest in me I definitely wouldn't turn her down I would try to come out to my parents as soon as possible because it is inevitable anyways

 

I can sympathize with someone that is closeted. However, I came out so that I could be free to hold hands with my boyfriend in public or kiss him in public. It would be hard to date a closeted person. I'm afraid I would push him too hard to come out.

 

As a currently closeted person I would come out of the closet fairly soon if I were to find a relationship that I liked in the beginning, but if that doesn't happen, I am just going to figure things out with myself before I come out.

 

The key word in your question is "partner", you didn't refer to some casual person you spend time (and "quality time") with. Just imagine not being able to fully acknowledge or introduce that person to the other close people in your life at events such as your birthday party/Xmas (or similar holidays), attending a relative's wedding or the more difficult events where partners should be able to support each other (serious illness, death of grandparents or other family, etc...).

 

I'm not out to anyone (and no wish to come out)

I think it'd make dating very hard not only to do but also in the long term to keep hidden...
plus assuming the rare chance a boyfriend was to find me...I think it'd be fair/best (for both of us) if he was closeted too.

 

I think that's a situation where it's important for both partners to be on the same page. There has to be a clear understanding and a great deal of communication, which of course is important for any meaningful relationship anyways. As long as both people are okay with the way things are going to go, then there's nothing wrong with it.

 

I'm not fully out the closet yet, but I know that I would much prefer to go out with someone who was out at least to friends. I wouldn't care much if they were out at work and I could handle them not being out to family, but if I had to hide our relationship from my/our/their friends then I don't think it would work. However, if I met someone closeted and fell in love maybe I wouldn't be able to resist.

Obviously I'm not planning on going out with anyone till I'm out otherwise I'd be the closeted one!

 

I was totally in the closet when I met my boyfriend, who is totally out. It was weird at first, but he pushed - just a little - and made me realize who I was and who I wanted to be. Honestly, if I hadn't met him, I would still be stuck in the same rut I'd been in for years. I really owe him a lot for giving me my life back!

 

I think hopefully when you are in a relationship your partner could help support you well you are coming out...but getting into a relationship when you have no intention of ever coming out is probably just to unfair to your partner in my opinion.