How Do You Pick?

I don't think anyone can help you but yourself. And seeing that you're still 13, you have a lot of time to figure out what you're looking for. Don't rush and take your time. Finding what you want will come naturally. Don't try to pick and choose. And welcome to EC!

 

What I've learned is to condemn yourself by putting labels. IMO, you don't pick what you wanna be, it just happens.. sorta..

But since you're only 13, Just go with the flow

 

You don't "pick". You find out. How do you find out? Wait, date, masturbate. It'll all come clear eventually.

Oh, and I can't speak for everybody else, but if you go flamer, I think many potential partners won't be interested - nobody I know is crazy about the term "flamer".

Lex

 

Yeah, you don't pick your sexuality. It's not "I want to be different, so i think I'll be gay" or anything. It's not a club. It's what you were born as.

Give it time, and you'll see whether you are attracted to guys or girls - you don't make the decision, it's just your natural attraction.

Good luck.

 

The penis doesn't lie- go for who you're attracted to, and you can't really 'pick' gay or straight I'm sorry to say.

 

Hey,

As has been said, you can't pick. You just have to try and find out. Don't be in a rush and remember that whatever you are is fine. Just be yourself and see what happens. You have lots of time ahead of you, so don't do anything that doesn't feel right or feel bad about whatever transpires.

 

So wait...

You are like "i want to be gay becase then i will have lots of friends" but you are also like "i want to be straight so i can get an awesome girlfriend"?

I am really really confused :/

 

>>>Also if i go gay does it hurt to have a dick shoved up your but???

Not if he does it right.

Lex

 

i don't have experience of this but girls do anal too and it sounds like something that hurts first time but gets better quickly

 

Well if you care about someone, it's not just something you're doing. It's part of something the two of you are feeling and acting upon.

And there's not much shoving going on. If the other person is paying attention to what you like and don't like, then any sexual thing that you do shouldn't hurt.

If you're asking if anal sex hurts, most people will tell you that it was something that they had to do a few times before they were able to relax enough to enjoy it. But it can be quite fun. And you should always use condoms when doing it.

 

You shouldn't need to worry about sex at 13 anyway, you've got a while before you reach that time.

Don't try and force yourself into either side because you think one is cooler or one is more socially smiled upon. If you come to the conclusion that you're attracted to males, just be it. Don't try and change because you're afraid of how other people will see you. And if you realize you're more attracted to females, you'll just have to be content with sharing a quality with the vast majority of the world.

Either way, being a particular sexuality doesn't mean you have to explore every possible way of having sex. If a particular method doesn't sound pleasant to you, you don't have to do a thing. Being gay is not a secret club with initiation rituals.

 

Well, first of all, it's not really a choice. It's not at all a choice. You just have to give it time and think. Don't make any rash decisions on behalf of hormones, just let the feelings come.

They will, I promise.

 

the answer is simple - you can't pick. just let the penis decide for you

 

I had a intersting conversation with a friend (she doesn't know i'm gay, and somehow I'm not in a hurry to tell her) about this....

....blablablablablablablablabla.....

Her: I just don't understand how someone can decide to be gay....

Me: Well it's not like anyone filled in a form where he got to choose what he wants...

Her: Well that's true, but still.... and how about bisexuals? Why can't they just decide?

Me: Well they decided that they like both ... so....

Her: ...well not really....

Me: (sarcastic) maybe they checked both boxes on this form and asexuals didn't have enough time for their "X"s ...:dry:

This shut her up. Thank god the conversation was over after that

Argh... sometimes.....

 

Well I can't answer your question as I don't plan on having anal sex anytime soon, but you don't really "go gay". It's who you are or aren't. I didn't "go bisexual" one day, I discovered that I was bisexual. If you just wait and don't rush anything too quickly, you'll figure it out eventually.

 

Exactly. I wasn't just like hey bisexual is in let me be that. I figured one day that I was bisexual.The same will happen for you, eventually you'll figure out who you are and what you like.