I'm honestly not sure when to come out. I'm not afraid to come out, I'm not scared of being judged, just unsure when. I have had feelings for men since around 8th grade, but I only recently transferred from bisexual to completely gay after a lot of time and thought... I actually have a assembly in school that I'm not going to go into detail about, but it is a chance to tell everyone in your class about life troubles, suicidal times, or anything that you need to say without being judged, this happens usually during the end of October or beginning of next month. But is that too soon or should I let some time go by to be sure? I am almost positive I am sure though... I think that is the best place to tell my class, but is it too soon? That will be around 1 month of realizing I am completely gay and ~1 and a half years of knowing I am sexually attracted to men. Currently I am a sophomore and am anxious of hiding my desires after, what I am almost completely confident, my final decision in sexuality. Also, is it ok to transfer from gay to bi after coming out? (Even though I highly doubt this happening.) thanks for any advice, (&&&).
Hi there! I'm wondering if the how part does play a role for you in how you are feeling about the timing. Have you thought about coming out to one friend or someone that you trust first? When you try to come out, you are trying to let go of your fears and anxieties as to how other will react, as to what will happen. Coming out to one person could make it easier on yourself, and you probably would find it also easier to find the right timing for you. It comes down to as to what you feel inside of yourself, when you think about coming out to the class - even if it is in a safe environment/space. Try doing the mirror routine. Look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud, that you want to come out to the class at the end of October, and gauge how you feel. Yes, it is okay. It happens that people become aware of different attractions and feelings later in life.
This helps a lot. Thanks . My plan is to come out to my sister before the class, relatively soon before the assembly (Like a week). Thankfully we are very close and have brought up the subject of being gay to her, but in a way that if I were, would you still love me kind of thing. She said that she would love me still and that it would be awesome to have a gay brother because she loves gays. The only group of people that I am scared about is my mother and grandmother, who are both close, and believe in the bible a lot. But they will have to deal with it I guess! Again, thanks!
Is the thing with your class kind of like a cross the line thing? I personally would take advantage of it. Anyway, to answer your question: the question is not whether it is too soon according to us, but if you feel ready. You asking this shows me that maybe you're not, but other than that I can't feel your feelings. For me, I have never felt more ready and doubt I ever will, but it is still hard for me sometimes. Despite knowing the person in question will be totally accepting and supporting - it's not an easy thing to do. That's why you might feel like you're not ready. Just make sure to seperate those two feelings.
Glad my response helped. It's great that you already know that your sister will be thrilled to know that she has a gay brother. Awesome! That's true, they might need some time to come around to it. But there are times when parents and/or grandparents can surprise us. Even though they believe in the bible, they might still be accepting. While they might need some time to come around and understand that your sexual orientation does not change you, deep down within them, they will still love you.
