I came out as gay to some of my friends, but the problem is that I am not 100% gay. I want to start dating women again, and I know they will think that I am lying. I told my best friend about my new plan, and she thought it was a extremely bad idea. She swears up and down that I am gay, and I am only doing this to please my parents. I know I should not care what other people think, but these people are very important to me. I really do care about their opinions.
ARE you just doing it to please your parents? If not, then tell your friends that only dating men because THEY say you're gay is no better then dating women to please your parents. Date who you want, if it turns out you're not into whoever, no harm done. As long as you are clear that you aren't doing it to please somebody else, you're good.
Well, before you can get an answer to the question about "undoing" coming out, I think the more core issue is knowing who you are. What I think I hear you saying is that you want to date women not because you're genuinely attracted to them, but because you care about your parents' opinion, and are maybe trying to *convince yourself* that you're not 100% attracted to men. If that's the case, your best friend is doing you a HUGE service by telling you this. Think about it: If you're wanting to date women because you want to please your parents, (a) it isn't going to work in the long term, because you won't be happy, and even more importantly, (b), you're going to really screw over some innocent person who simply wants a guy who will genuinely love her, for the purpose of pleasing your parents. If the roles were reversed... would you want someone to do that to you? Hopefully not. Now... I could be completely misreading what you're saying. If you honestly believe, at your core, that you are genuinely bisexual, and you see girls at the beach, or on the street, or wherever, and say "Wow, I'd really love to have sex with her"... and you watch straight porn (without focusing on the guys) and get excited by it, and you masturbate without porn thinking about girls... then you're genuinely bisexual. But if you don't honestly do any of those things on a regular basis, you're lying to yourself, your parents, and, most importantly, to the girl you would be dragging into all of this. So... having thought about all of that, where do you stand?
Well I think you should make sure you absolutely know if you want to date women as well as men. Once you're sure of yourself, it might be easier to tell others your sexuality. If you decide you want to date women AND men, than it shouldn't be too hard to tell them you're bisexual. However, the main point is being sure of yourself.
Honestly I think I am bisexual, because I am attracted to women and men. I would say I do lean towards the gay side a little bit. I trust my best friend, but the thing is she is also an ex girlfriend of mine. So, I don't know if she just wants me not to date women because of that.
Stop worrying about the labels and date who you want to date right now, not who your friend thinks you should date. If you ever do home in on one sex or the other exclusively then you can change to a different label if you feel the need to label yourself.
I think people would have an easier time with it if you put it like "well I thought I was gay, but I caught myself checking women out and imagining myself with them the same way I check guys out, and I decided not to deny it and just see where it goes". Close enough to the truth anyway. But if you do this, I'd really like to stress, entering another closet is a bad idea. I would really make it clear to anyone I dated that I was figuring out my sexuality, and that there was a good chance I really was gay. It would be completely unfair of you do to anything else. And I would want to know for sure I was bi before doing this. I think that's a good test anyway. I know, for me, it would be completely unfair of me to get in a relationship with a boy. The person I'm with deserves me really enjoying them in every way, and not fighting myself to be with them at all.
I just talked to my friend, she brought up some good points. I am bisexual, but it seems like as time goes by I am losing romantic attraction to women. As a bisexual if you lean so far to the gay side I guess there is cutoff point for dating the opposite sex? She also said I never gave a gay relationship a chance, and it is true I guess.
I honestly don't know anymore. Sometimes I think I am gay. Then it comes down to get an opportunity to start a relationship with a guy I will lose all interest in guys. I know I am sexually attracted to women, because I enjoy sex with women though.
In a relationship I would say romantic attraction is the most important. Where do you think this urge to date women is coming from, since you say you are losing romantic attraction to them? In the end this is your choice and EC and your loved ones are here to help.
What do u mean by cut off point for dating the opposite sex if u r bi? What the H does that mean lol and who said that?
if you happen to find a woman you like-like then you can tell people the following: you like her. If they ask you about your "label" just say the following: sexual identity is determined by the past and present feelings...you've always felt attracted to men up until this point where one woman caught your eye....ultimately, we never know what the future holds some times it can surprise us. I sure hope though that you date someone you actually like. Not someone who you don't like but your parents like.
I'd suggest you go back and look at the specific questions I posed and answer them, rather than just saying "I'm bisexual." If you are bisexual, then the answers to the questions will almost always reflect that. But in your case, it really sounds more like wishful thinking that truth.
You don't need to explain anything except maybe to the person of your interested. Date who you like for you and let everyone else figure it out. You don't have to wear a label on you sleeve.
I guess it does sound like I am just in denial. I guess if I have more attraction to guys, then that is the direction I should go. Since I never really let myself get into a gay relationship, because I might deep down I am scared I would like it better. I know labels are not everything, but it does sound like I am just gay.
