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Coming out today

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ArtVandelay, Oct 8, 2013.

  1. ArtVandelay

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    I just got a text message reply confirming that I'm meeting up with one of my friends this afternoon to grab a coffee and chat. The reason I set up this meeting is to tell her I'm gay. Needless to say I'm really nervous, and completely unsure of how this conversation is going to go. How do these things usually play out? I feel like I'm going to have trouble actually getting the words out and will get really emotional and she'll wonder what's up until I finally say it.

    I kind of planned out how I want to lead up to it, because I don't want to just sit down with a drink, say two words (well, three words, or a contraction and a word) and let her react. What I want to talk about is how there are certain girls I know that seem to have feelings for me and there have been times on weekends and such that they've made advances and I've been less than receptive, but not obviously uninterested, and I feel bad because I'm legitimately not interested and don't want to seem like I'm leading them on or just plain being a dick. I have also danced and made out with girls in clubs before, so a lot of my friends (I'm pretty sure) just think I'm straight. Some of them make fun of me for having no game, but I legit just don't try because I don't have any interest in taking a girl home :lol: I just don't want to do that to people any more by being open and honest.

    Problem is, the girl I'm talking to today is either one of the people that seems to have feelings/a crush on me or we've just become a lot closer of friends lately. I'm not the best at figuring that stuff out :confused: I guess I'm just hoping for some advice if you guys have any or if there are any suggestions of things I should do in my last 4 and half hours of being completely in the closet :lol::lol:
     
  2. LD579

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    Big plans! :thumbsup:

    Keep calm, and try to see if she has anything major to talk about. If not, or once those are out of the way, you can bring up the subject in any way, as it sounds like you trust her enough to come out to her. As for whether she likes you or not... that can be tricky but at the end of the day you can't really control how she feels. If she does like you, she'll have to get over it, to be blunt. But also, be proud of yourself for preparing to take this big step! =)
     
  3. ArtVandelay

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    Thanks! About bringing it up, I asked her if we could talk about something that's been on my mind, so I feel like opening with 'anything new with you?' might be odd, but I don't know. As for whether she has feelings for me or not, To be honest, I'm not worried about it if she'll get over it, I know we'll be fine, I just think it might influence the way she reacts. Maybe it won't matter at all. Well we're meeting in around an hour so I'm going to try to relax beforehand and hope for the best.
     
  4. yep

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    Good luck! You're going to be fine. Let us know how it goes! :slight_smile:
     
  5. ArtVandelay

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    Thanks, it actually went really well. It took me a while to actually build up the guts to start to say it though. We just sat and talked for a while until I thought I was ready, then I kind of rambled about some stuff kind of trying to build up to it. When I finally found the words she grabbed my hand then stood up to give me a hug.

    After we sat back down she told me that she was really glad that I came to her and so proud of me for having the courage to be open about it. I was all choked up and I could barely talk at first (I'm glad I brought a bottle of lemon flavoured sparkling water :icon_bigg) but I calmed down and we chilled for a while and just talked.

    I'm really grateful that she took it well and I know I'll be so much more comfortable telling the next person or people. I'm kind of hoping to tell my family (parents and siblings) this weekend and I think this gave me the confidence to do so. I'm also thankful for the stories and advice I've read in these threads in the last little while too. I hope more people can find the motivation like I was able to.
     
  6. greatwhale

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    Good for you! You chose the right person to come out, it does get easier, trust me!

    Well done!
     
  7. yep

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    That's so awesome! I'm super happy for you. I have told a couple friends, and the first friend I told her reaction was almost identical to your friend's reaction. The second person I told pulled it out of me over the phone, so I didn't get to experience her reaction, unfortunately.

    Best of luck telling your family! That's what I'm struggling with the most. I'm an only child too, so that makes it a little harder. I'm going to try and tell them soon though. :slight_smile:

    EDIT: You can change your out status on your profile now, by the way! Yay!
     
    #7 yep, Oct 8, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2013
  8. ArtVandelay

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    Haha thanks! I totally forgot about that. Done :slight_smile:
     
  9. GayLibertarian

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    Congrats, glad to hear everything went well! :slight_smile:
     
  10. method

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    This warms my heart :slight_smile:

    I had a similar experience when coming out for the first time and this story reminded me of that moment. A lot of emotions hehe

    Well done (and welcome to EC!)