Back story: I am from a northern state but live in the south now. A couple years ago, my mom and step dad moved from that northern state to HI. They are planning on moving to my state, about an hour from me in January. They are moving there because they like the town and to be closer to me/my kids. I am the only family and contact they have here. They have 2 adult children who have kids back in the north. They don't want to live in the north anymore. Part of me thinks I should call and tell her that I'm leaving my husband because I'm gay before they make any solid plans (like interview for jobs/put deposits on places to live etc). That way, if she can't deal with it, she will be able to make new plans. I really don't want her to find out after she's here, disown me and then feel stuck here with no one. I don't actually think she'll disown me. But it could happen. She's very religious and homophobic. I know that doesn't always mean the same thing when it's your kid and not an arbitrary idea you're considering. I talked to my friend about it and she said it would be better in person. I agree to some extent but for the past 20 years, 90% of our conversations have been over the phone. We have lived far apart from each other for a long time. It will also be easier for me to tell her over the phone and let her have lots of time to deal with her own feelings about it before seeing her. But that's really immature and I don't want that to weigh in on this decision. So, what do you think? Over the phone or wait a few months and tell her in person?
I don't see any reason not to do it over the phone. You're only pointing it out in the first place out of courtesy to her...
