Ok I know, I know, I am 25 - almost 26 - and I'm scared of what my parents will think. I own my own house, my car, and I do everything on my own but I am afraid of them being "disappointed" in me. I am separated from my ex, we had 2 kids together but I was ultimately not happy because I wanted to be with a woman. I had great difficulty finding a woman but anyway I am currently seeing someone who is transgender MtF and I am afraid of what my family will think. Some back story, my twin is also transgender and while my parents paid cash for the entire surgery, I still feel there is some unacceptance there. I suppose that is why I am worried. Any advice would be appreciated or maybe I am just a worry freak. In any case, me being with a woman would have happened regardless.
Don't worry that you're worried even though you're 25...you could be 40 and still worry! Nobody wants to disappoint their parents. Have you ever spoken to your parents about your twin? If they paid for the whole thing, I can't see why they would mind who you are dating but then people are strange...
What are your parent's expectations of you? I think a lot of unnecessary fear can be avoided if we understand what really drives our parent's expectations. If they just want you to ultimately be happy, then I think you shouldn't be too worried. They'll be able to adjust their expectations given the new information you tell them. If they have less refined, or misguided expectations, it may definitely take a lot more work to help them overcome those. In both cases though, they will have to revise their expectations, as your sexuality is not something that will change. Anticipating how to manage that process should help manage that fear you have, as you'll have more control over the post-coming out scenario. Good luck
Its only natural. I'm 38, my parents have made it clear that they would be fine if I were gay and its still tough. Spent years worrying but I'm over it.
It is true. My parents still mean a lot to me. I have spoken to my mother about it. She can be very strange. Some days she seems fine but some days she calls my twin a "freak" (which makes me angry) and she tries to find blame as to why my twin is transgender. I basically told her there doesn't need to be a reason, he just is. That's it. I am not sure when to even tell them or if I should just have them find out. ---------- Post added 9th Oct 2013 at 06:31 PM ---------- I have never looked at it that way, but thanks!! I agree it is not something that will change. I knew from a young age and I thought it would "change" as I got older or that it was a "phase" but obviously it is not... :lol:
