Coming out: What are you most afraid of?

Because my entire life will be turned upside down.

 

- I am married.

- Conservative parents.

- ... And as a side note, not really sure what I want the "end state" to be.

 

I know my parents won't kick me out or anything so extreme but to deal with all the questions and my mum lecturing me on how its not meant to be that way makes me wanna procrastinate a bit....

hopefully coming out this week, wish me luck....

 

How about you?

 

The fear of rejection and judgement. It's quite powerful - even from people that you know will not reject you in any way.

 

*luck*
By the way, if it was a long time ago, I would have done the same thing.

Just try to stay away from labels. Caring who you want to care for should not be labeled.

 

Well in my life the consquences are:
•Being whom I am
•Letting my mother (who accepts me) know I am gay
•To allow my secret to hold my life down
Wait those are reasons to come out realy its not that hard (unless you rely on homophobic people) which its bad coming from me as I have no self confidence or self esteem. The reasons you want to is so you feal whole in better terms comming out is the last piece of you puzzle.( hopefully this is not to cheesey, ohh cheese well now i want chesse but tne only cheese in the house is on the stuff shells ohh screw that i made a PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE CAKE today yes off topic but food is sooo good) (!) (!) :lol:

 

What made it scary for me? Not really knowing what people would think about me. After awhile, the fear subsided, though.

 

Honestly the only people I was afraid to come out to was my grandparents because they always seemed so not okay with the whole topic. I was afraid of rejection. I didn't want my life to change after I worked so hard to get to where I am. I hate that coming out is such a big deal but it is and it's something we have to deal with.
If someone doesn't support you or rejects you. Forget them, they can be anyone. Just forget them. If you're not important enough to them that they can just throw you out of their life after knowing you for how long over one detail about you that in NO WAY affects their life then they aren't worth being in your life.

 

What's holding me back from telling my parents is once they find out for sure that I am gay they will [probly] forever see me in a different way. And I'm kinda worried they will not understand fully when I tell or write them that I am In fact gay, not straight they might just think its a joke or maybe they might think I just want to 'experiment'...I donno...the unknown is scary..sometimes I wish I could get one of my friends to ask my parents ' how would u react if sam told u she is gay hypothetically' and then get my friend to report back to me with the answer because I have no idea how they will react and somedays it REALLY eats at me not knowing

 

What sammy1 said x 100000

I guess my biggest fear is seeing my parents crushed when they realise all their dreams and expectations they had of me, marrying a nice catholic sri lankan boy and giving them grandkids is not going to happen. I can deal with everybody else rejecting me, but not my parents, they have given me everything possible for me to succeed but to them it will seem like they are a failure when I come out as been gay. I know, I can't live in this bubble forever, so I'm slowly trying to condition them to thinking other possible ideas like marrying a "non-sri lankan" boy. So far, no good. Going to be a long road ahead. :tears:

 

Probably just saying it. My parents are really liberal and left-wing so they'll be fine.

 

being kicked out by my parents.....

 

- In a word, rejection. The fear of being rejected, at this point in time, is the primary factor preventing me from opening up. I work two jobs but can't support myself, can drive but don't have a car or a license, and while I've got a growing support system, many of the ones I'd hope to fall back on if I really needed to have moved or are soon moving. I think this fear is normal, and considering my situation, healthy.

- Being wrong. Even though I've had feelings like this off and on for a long time, and on at full force for a few years, I still have this pang of fear that maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, or seeing all this the wrong way or something. Maybe I'm just confused or something. What would I do if I came out to all these people and then suddenly changed my mind about everything, regardless of how sure I am right now?

- And even though it's still a long way off, I'm scared to come out because it would be the first step towards transitioning for me. Once I'm out, and hopefully accepted, I can look into the surgery and hormones I dream about, and for some reason that scares me. And call me vain, because well, yes, I am a vain little boy with narcissistic tendencies, but I'm afraid of being unattractive. What if T doesn't play well with me? What if it's true, what other people have said, that I'm just too girly cute to look right as a guy?

 

I guess my biggest fear by coming out is making it known I was ever in, hiding in the closet like I've done something wrong. It feels like I'm admitting to a crime by having had it hidden for so long.

 

I'm not even out to everyone I know yet only 3 people and I was so scared!! But I had nothing to worry about and you don't how certain people will react to it xxx

 

My parents will probably accept me but I'm worried about the awkwardness.