Hi guys, I'm new to the forum but happy to have this resource to get advice on an issue I'm having. I recently moved into an apartment with my boyfriend- not because our relationship was ready for it but because we both desperately needed a place to live and couldn't afford rent ourselves. We're in a new city with limited friends and things to keep us busy, so we spend a lot of time at home together. The problem is that I've been questioning my sexuality a lot lately. I thought at first that I wasn't feeling attracted to men because of stress, but after dating two guys and feeling the same lacking, I'm thinking there's something more there... I dated a girl for a year before the two guys, and that relationship was so much more exciting, satisfying, beautiful. With men, I just feel like they're good friends. (Oh god, I almost used the "like a brother" phrase) I'm not sure how to approach this subject with my boyfriend. He keeps trying to kiss me, seduce me, etc., and I have to come up with a lame excuse to avoid him. I can only blame stress and PMS for so long. I'm worried that if I tell him the truth he'll end up leaving the apartment and I'll be homeless. We're both just poor students who just made it out of bad home lives with our parents. Also, he knows I've dated girls before. He just doesn't know that I'm not attracted to him. Any advice, similar stories, words of encouragement? Thanks for everything. Reading the posts on this site has been really helpful.
I think I'm right here with you =/ I've never had a relationship with a girl though, so I can't say for sure but... I've had two serious relationships with a guy. I'm currently dating someone, we used to be exclusive but then broke up and now we're just "hanging out" but...I always get so bored. I feel like it's more than just "not being good at relationships". He tries to woe me and have sex but I almost repulse at his touch. I just think like, "ew, penis no, please". It's terrible but I just have zero sex drive for him. But I do have a sex drive, just not for him. Ugh, it sucks. I know the best thing would be to break it off, but I just..can't cause I do care for him =/ I feel like we're just friends that hang out and sometimes cuddle...
I think the only fair thing to do is to tell him. It's hard breaking up for whatever reason, but staying in a relationship out of convenience is not fair to any of you. If you can't continue living together as friends you might want to look for a roommate? Good luck with everything
Bless you, sounds like an awkward situation. You need to split up with him. You know him best - if he's desperate for somewhere to live too and is emotionally stable enough to be friends and roommates rather than flipping out, then maybe you can tell him. If you think that he will go mental or throw you out, I wouldn't think any less of you if you tried to find another place to live before you tell him, just try to be quick about it so that you can get yourself out of this awkward situation and start being yourself.
It has to be done sometime. He knows somethings up. Just explain everything or leave this thread open for him to see?
