1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why do I feel worried about comming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by WiliamRoberts, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. WiliamRoberts

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hampshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I've always had trouble narrowing down exactly where my issue lies.

    Reasons why I shouldn't have an issue:
    As for family, I have no relatives who are relgious, my Mum is very liberal, my Dad even said as a passing remark he didn't feel gay people should have to come out. There's no issue there. As for friends, I have mixed boys and girls. I know one boy who doesn't like gay people (quite a lot), but I don't see him that much, and he's more of a freind of a friend than anything else. I can't think of any particular reason why i should have difficulty, but I do.

    Reasons why I might have an issue
    I have noticed that I'm more camp on my own than around others, I didn't do this on purpose, it just seemed to happen.

    I've always known I was gay, which means it's something I've kept to myself for over 10 years, maybe it's just the sudden change that I would find difficult?

    The way I've heard Gay people refereed to by girls, feels a bit forced. Like they're trying to hard to be open, and there's an underlining desperation for the gay best friend they've seen in a TV show somewhere. All that has meant that i view having a boyfriend as compensation for having a Girlfriend. It's like a company giving you money because they caused you to break your back. Either way you'd have a broken back, the money is just something to make the situation a bit better.

    Could you help? What could I do to help? Why do I have an issue, that no one around me seems to have?

    (Sorry for babbling, and thanks for reading :icon_bigg)
     
  2. mvjp

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manchester
    theres no way to know exactly how people react/ what will happen - but things are sure to change in some ways

    they are some o the things that scared me the most and i only started coming out at 19
    i think most humans get nervous about change especially when they cant control that change and the outcomes are unknown

    the thing is before i came out i was accidentally hurting people i was torturing myself and i was confused - sure some people reacted badly especially my more conservative friends and friends from my catholic high school ( i have been told that bi sexuality is impossible - im greedy- and i will pray for you to "go back to normal" to name a few
    but honestly i feel better for having started to come out im just taking my time and using the support of those who have offered it (which has really really helped) - it might not be easy but i promise you it will be worth it - sorry that this is such a ramble hope it helps x
     
  3. yep

    yep
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2013
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Georgia, United States
    I know that same feeling!

    Personally, I had a feeling I was gay (and I think I was pretty sure of it, too), but I just threw that thought to the back of my mind because I just couldn't be gay. But, now I'm fine with it, but I don't know why I should have to come out. If I want to date a guy, I have every right to date a guy and nobody should question that. It's so hard to find someone who loves you, so why should gender have to put that limit on there?

    You just have to be yourself, and if that means coming out and getting over your nerves, then so be it! You're going to do great! :slight_smile: Sorry for the slightly off-topic ramble...
     
  4. WiliamRoberts

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hampshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thanks everyone :slight_smile:
     
  5. penguin machine

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2013
    Messages:
    277
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Niagara Falls
    Take the plunge, man! You've got two killer people who will be on your side, after that, nothing else matters. The only people worth keeping in your life are the ones who are actually going to be there for the real you. I'd say it sounds like they're ready to join the party :slight_smile:
     
  6. lukeluvznicki13

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    1,309
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Africa
    Don't worry (*hug*)
    I think most of us were nervous and worried about coming out to people :slight_smile:
    I think its because we are all worried about what people would say and whether you will get judged etc.
    My advice is to just take small steps. You could drop a couple of hints and then come out. Or you can slowly tell one or two friends and as you feel more comfortable about coming out to people, you can move onto your family :slight_smile:
    That's just my advice but whatever happens:
    Good luck and we are all here to help you out when you need it x]