Hey guys and gals. I’m not sure exactly why I’m posting this, but I suppose it’s because I feel stuck. The last time I started a thread here, I was asking for advice about the guy I was in love with (my straight best friend). I ended up confessing my love to him because I thought it would be the only way to get over him. Well, I’m happy to say that I’m completely over him now. It took me accepting that nothing would ever happen between us, recognizing some of his flaws, temporarily distancing myself, and developing some of my other relationships. It was tough, and it took several months, but I no longer think about him like that. Our friendship is mostly back to normal, and I think he feels relatively comfortable around me again. Anyway, here is my current situation: I’m out to my ten closest friends, who all seem to accept me for who I am. I've been dating a great girl (not official and not exclusive), but I also have this weird online thing with a guy I met a few weeks ago. The online thing is certainly different from anything I've ever done, but I’m enjoying it enough I guess. And I have a great job that I really love. To sum things up, I’m happier than I've been in a long, long time. I’m comfortable. But being comfortable is what worries me. I recognize that sooner or later, I’m going to have to come out to my family and the rest of my friends. But that scares the living shit out of me. Right now, I could probably return to what’s left of my closet and no one would think otherwise. The friends that know I am bisexual still act as if I’m straight and I think would rather not discuss my sexuality. They haven’t told anyone either, at least as far as I know, which I honestly didn’t expect. I didn’t swear them to secrecy or anything. And in all likelihood, my parents would accept me. They would be majorly shocked and the conversation would be awkward as hell, but I’m confident they would support me. I might have more trouble with my younger brother and a few of my friends, but I believe the support I would get would outweigh any other reaction. So why is this so hard for me? The doors to my closet are open and I’m halfway out, but I can’t seem to take that final step. I’d almost rather everyone else hear about my sexuality from my friends who already know than to have to tell everyone. Is that silly? So yeah, I feel stuck.
You don't have to come out all at once still. I honestly think it's better to ease yourself out of the closet instead of forcing yourself out completely publicly. Just keep going one at a time. Coming out is a process, and it's going to take time.
I feel like I'm in a similar situation, but I wouldn't describe it as being 'halfway' in. You're either just in or out to person X. Having to come out to each new person can be a bit of a mission in and of itself, and yes it is tiring and tedious. It's a process that will take time and effort, as Abbra pointed out. I'm kind of a lazy person, and I know that for me, defaulting to laziness and procrastination is incredibly tempting. Leaving it to others to find out another way is just another way of avoiding doing the job yourself. I agree it's hard, but we need to put in effort for things to happen.
