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Help Please!! Do I make the move or...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ubernerd1232, Jun 2, 2008.

  1. ubernerd1232

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    Hi Everyone,

    My name's carson and i have a bit of a dillema. I met this really cool guy in my math class this past year and i can tell he likes me back. (trust me, you can just tell) The bummer comes in two areas:
    1. school just ended
    2. We're both closeted still

    Now, i just added him as a friend on facebook, but what now?? Do i make the first move or wait. I know it seems like a no-brainer but this could really screw up my senior year and im under a ton of pressure as is. Any help would be greatly appreciated!! :slight_smile:
     
  2. LOVEjames

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    There's nothing wrong with a closeted relationship in the beginning. When you start to get more serious, then you can discuss coming out. :slight_smile: I would suggest pursuing it, just so you won't have to say "What if?" later on in life.
     
  3. Paralyzer

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    I've always fancied a closet relationship.
    The thrill of keeping something so sweet from the world is what I've craved for a long time... but uh.. I guess that's not gonna happen with my out status now.. x_x

    I'd say ask him to hang out.. and then just keep doing it and you guys will get closer and closer and eventually something'll happen :grin:

    Carson:"Hey, I'm not doing anything and I wanna see a movie but my friends are crapping out on me and I just thought maybe you'd like to come? Ha, I'm so determined to go."

    Crush:"Gee, would I ever! :grin:"

    Since you said you bascially KNOW he likes you, I wouldn't be too scared to make the first move. I think things work best slowly though.. so go see a movie and if the attraction is really there, I doubt you'll have to do much work.
     
  4. ubernerd1232

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    thanks guys; that helps a ton. I'm nervous to make the move, but i've already missed out on good guys before, so we'll see. I'll update if anything goes down! :slight_smile:
     
  5. Wired106

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    OMFG! I JUST HAD THE SAME PROBLEM LOL. BUT it turned out good! listen to this, and what i did. I really didnt want school to end because i just became friends with this kid I really liked and I kinda thought he was gay but wasnt sure. So I added him on facebook and I was worried I wouldnt ever talk to him again because school just ended. Then like the last week of school I talked to him on facebook and then we switched AIM screen names to chat on AIM. and I brought up the topic about how california legalized gay marriage and we were talking about it. and then suddenly he came out to me as bi and told me all this stuff and i told him. it was awesome but that is pretty muc hthe same sort of situation you're in. but i'd suggest switching AIM screen names so you guys and chat instantly back and forth. But you might have to come out to him first if you bring up like gay marriage legalization in CA. He might not be gay remember that, so try and get his opinion FIRST on the whole thing, but if I were you, i'd bring up the topic and say stuff like i think it would be awesome if it actually passed in november and it isn't overturned. and then just see what he thinks and go on from there and tell him you're gay. That's what I did. and now everything seems to be working out okay and we talk on AIM and ya. good luck though!!:icon_wink:


    Oh ya I forgot to tell you, if you really want it to work I'd probably try coming out to him if you trust him enough. Because like what i've been doing is coming out lately because its summer now and i've been telling people I trust and so far its been good, but like if anyone I tell isn't okay with it, then its alright since its summer, and by the time you go back to school it should have gone down and no one should care too much. But i'd tell people one at a time just to release it slowly so its not this big thing, and then you'll have people probably coming to you and telling you stuff, like they are gay. but ya, good luck once again :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Wired106, Jun 3, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2008
  6. Lexington

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    Why not come out to him? Don't necessarily admit you're feelings to him just yet, but strike up a conversation, let him know you're gay, and see how he responds. It may be that's the opening he's looking for, and certainly ONE of you is going to have to take the initiative. May as well be you. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  7. ubernerd1232

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    I really can't thank you guys enough for the advice!! :slight_smile: I'm still nervous to even interact with him (i know, dumb), but im gonna try to chat with him next time i see him on facebook. Again, thanks soo much for the help, and any more input would be greatly appreciated!! :slight_smile:
     
  8. Leigh

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    this is so hypocritical of me since i didnt take other peoples advice on pretty much the exact situation (cept the homo part) but id definitly say go for it.

    be braver than me!!
     
  9. Jennn

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    Definitely do it on Facebook. It's the way to go. =D
    I think the idea of dropping in the fact you're gay is a good one. Hopefully then you'll get it out of him too, at which point you've instantly got something in common to talk about.. and then take it from there.
     
  10. Dare2bProud

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    The first guy I fell in love with it was very "closeted" it felt weird, special and mysterious at the same time. I constantly still search for a relationship like that and wish that things would have worked out between him and I because I don't think I'll ever feel the same way about another like I did with him. :-(
     
  11. retroflux

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    I think you should go for it.
    Just take a chance and talk to him some more.
    Send him an email on facebook.
    You said he likes you, and you like him.. what are you waiting for? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    And, having a relationship where you both aren't out yet can be better than having a relationship where one is out and one isn't.