thanks to everyone

I came out to my family today and my best friend last week. This site has helped me so much. Listening to your experiences helped me realize my being gay was not the end of the world. Your stories showed me that your loved ones can be more accepting than you might think. The coming out letters in particular helped me as that is what I used to tell my dad. He just called me in tears. The first time I heard him cry since his dad died. He said the only thing that he was upset about was that I could think he wouldn't be supportive. If it helps anyone here is the letter I wrote.

Dad

There is something I need to tell you and today seemed appropriate. Sorry if a letter is a little impersonal, this felt like the best way for me to organize my thoughts and say everything without interruption. I am also afraid of how you may react to what I have to say.

You need to know that I love you and that you have been a fantastic father. The sacrifices you made for Scott and me are incredible and have not gone unnoticed. I have always tried to live a life that would make you proud. The last thing I want is to anger, upset, or in anyway disappoint you. That being said my feeling is that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end is always better. October 11th is national coming out day and that is exactly what I am doing. Dad, I am gay.

You will likely have many questions so I am going to try to answer as many of them as I can here. Firstly, I have always known in my own way. There were many signs from a very early age. I suspected it since I was five, admitted it to myself when I was 16 and have fully accepted it for about a year. That is why it took me so long to tell you. At first I didn't even know there was a word for the way I felt. As I got older I started to understand but I knew I had to hide it. Everyone I knew hated gay people. I repressed my feelings and tried to forget about it. But this is not something you can change. The more I tried to hide it the more depressed I got.

I keep finding myself wanting to apologize for this but there is no need because I didn't choose this and I can't change it. How could I choose a life that could lead to me being disowned by my family and friends? Just know that I am not ashamed of who I am. Before I decided to tell you I was worried I would become some kind of joke but then I realized I have been laughed at my whole life. I have had to sit and smile as those I love mocked gay people, unknowingly insulting me to my face. I am a good person and I am proud of what I have accomplished so far in my life.

Honestly, I have no idea how you will react to this news. I don't even know your stance on gay people in general. Worse still, I do know how others feel but there can be no more hiding. I know this won't be easy for you. It's my hope that as your son you will understand and that it won't take you years to accept this as it did me.

-Your loving son, Mike