It wasn't really what I expected. I turned up late because I didn't want it to be awkward if I was one of the first ones there, but I actually wish I had gone earlier. I went by myself, because no one knows that I'm a lesbian so I couldn't bring a wing-woman, and by the time I arrived, everyone had already got chatting. We were sitting down in a cafe, so we couldn't exactly get up and mingle. I found the whole thing quite awkward and left after about half an hour. But having said that, I'm still very glad that I went, because it took a lot of courage for me to go into that cafe. I walked past it twice, too scared to go in, and when I eventually did go in I just stood at the front by the cash desk, pretending to be looking at the menu, for about 15 mins before venturing over to the table. Never mind, I guess there will be another opportunity at some point.
I know the feeling. You know what... to be daring... go early. It will be a simple way to get people to talk to you. Small talk. So what are you doing here? Where are you from? etc. It kind of breaks the ice. That's what I did. I was the same as you, and was shit scared. But unlike you I was not brave enough to go in. Well done. The next time I grew a pair and went early. The organiser saw me and started chatting. I guess he could see the fair in my eyes... or smell it hahaha. It really made it so easy - and he introduced me to others he knew. I wish you all the best
haha thank you! I guess I'm just annoyed that there will not be another 'icebreaker' meeting, so I kind of blew my chance to make a good first impression. Perhaps there will be other events though, who knows.
I've done this!!! I'm the world's most awkward person. My first queer women's event was so intimidating. And I was so nervous I forgot all about smalltalk. I was like "hello... gay? i women yes. oh classes? we're going to talk about classes? okay." But serious props for going; since this is an event for meeting people, there are bound to be people who want to talk to you, and once you meet a couple of them and realize "ok this is completely normal socializing" you'll relax into it. Resist the temptation to go straight for sexuality topics, and just network. Maybe someone else there had the same initial experience and you can bond with them over it. Maybe someone else really likes reading the same books as you, or the same music, or works in the same field. Either way, when I'm in situations like this where I'm surrounded for the first time by attractive women who also like women, I forget that we're all just people. Think of a few ice breaker questions if that makes it easier for you to start a conversation. Or if you see a group talking, go join their conversation! They'll love you! You're wonderful! ---------- Post added 11th Oct 2013 at 11:49 AM ---------- Just want to add, I still hate meeting people this way, because for me bonding over sexuality is still weird even though there is a shared experience there. I'm not guaranteed to get along with people if all we have in common is being LGBTQ. I much prefer bonding over activities I like doing, like hiking or a dance class or something. If they do LGBT activity groups instead of just ice breakers, it might be easier; you could even suggest it to the organizers.
Well done I know the "I'm very glad that I went" feeling. There's a meeting place for the LGBT community in a town I visited as a tourist (not in my country) and I decided to go there. At one point I hesitated because I got completely lost in the building but found the courage to ask and managed to find the place eventually. And I was really glad that I didn't give up because I met some nice people and as a bonus volunteered at the Pride (&&&) the next day. For me it was also my first LGBT event.
Yes, I'm just currently kicking myself because I didn't arrive earlier, but I would have been kicking myself even more if I hadn't built up the courage to walk into the cafe! Also, completely did not realise that today was also National Coming Out Day! I guess I sort of came out to a bunch of strangers today, then! (still not out to any friends or family though...)
