So yesterday was all messed up. I tried to tell my mum that I was attracted to guys as well as girls, but couldn't pick the right time. Both my parents knew something was up and so they started to worry. I ended up going into their room at night to tell them I like both girls and guys, but I started crying and it turned into a much bigger deal than it was meant to. The outcome was that I ran up to my room, my mum followed me, and now she thinks I'm a lesbian and has encouraged me to party hard and sleep with everyone at uni. I tried explaining that I consider myself bisexual, and actually am only romantically attracted to women with the potential for sexual attraction, but she totally didn't get it. She kept repeating the word 'lesbian' in all of her sentences - and hey, I love lesbians, but I'M NOT ONE. She kept talking about finding women sexually attractive, and that's not really how I feel about them (at least, not the main way). Eventually she left to go back to sleep. Now its morning, and I really regret coming out the way I did. Not only did I want to emphasize that I still prefer guys, I didn't want my dad to know. I feel kinda crap, because I'm going to have to try and go through it all again and explain the way I really feel. Inside I don't want to do that - its stressful to explain how I'm attracted to girls but don't feel the desperate urge to jump their bones - its romantic. I want to cuddle and kiss and go on dates and touch their boobs, but when I think of 'down there' I'm neutral. I also really dramatized the event in the way I did - I didn't want it to be an issue, or something they were concerned with, and I made it exactly that. I wish I hadn't come out at all now, and it makes me feel awful. If I said anything, I should have just said I was straight and wanted to date girls as well as guys (but not at the same time).
Hey there. A good idea is to confront her about it again. For one tell her you are bisexual, not lesbian. Make sure you don't phrase it bad, think about how you're going to set it out before you talk to her. Then, if you don't want your dad to know, tell her that too. Honestly the longer it takes for you to come out, the worse it gets so see this as more of a blessing then a curse. Above all, don't panic. Keep calm and keep cool. Good luck if you decide to proceed on my advice c:
A couple of things to consider. " has encouraged me to party hard and sleep with everyone at uni." is the fucking weirdest response I've ever heard to this But probably more usefully, is I want you to consider exactly what you NEED to tell your parents. Not what you WANT to, what you actually NEED to. I can't speak for you, but there is no way in HELL I'd would find myself discussing which parts of a person I want to put my parts on! As MinusK said, tell them you are bisexual. Explain you get romantic feelings for either gender and don't bring up the sex thing!
I couldn't agree more with MinusK. It would be better to sort it out now, so that you don't have to stress over the matter. Make sure you know what you want to say beforehand because that makes things a lot easier. Most importantly, pick a time that allows you to sit down with your mother, or father, and talk for a while (silly me chose the earlier morning before school and we had to text each other while I was on the bus).
Thanks for the advice everyone. I wrote a letter thing out to my mum trying to clarify things a little, and I think that helped. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow to see if she gets it. I also actually talked to my dad about it in a car journey today, and it was him who brought the subject up. I feel a lot better about it in regards to him (I didn't mention anything about sex!) and I think he understands where I'm coming from. Haha, and I get that people would think my mums response is really weird. She's kinda out there, is really kind of liberal, and I think what she meant by partying hard and sleeping with everyone was just to experiment and see what I really wanted. I'm still feeling weird about my parents knowing, but hopefully I would have sorted out everything with my mum by the end of the weekend. Some of the things you guys said were really helpful x
Hello, Hi Well, coming from a family where parents are very liberal, I can tell you .. EVEN in that case, it might take a few repetition to sink in. Like, I think I came out like ... 6 times overall ? Not very badly, but my mum would come to me and say that 'I'm still young and there are some things in life I need to experience before I really know'. Anyways, ... Yeah. The point is, you might have to come out several times. Or even, maybe discuss it even more ? As it comes off, she seems very okay about it and nice, so I suggest you talk more without fear !
I wouldn't worry too much about the specifics if it comes up again. "I'm bi. I like men and women, but I prefer men," should cut it. Especially for your dad.
...Seriously? o.o Accept what has happened. Just keep it simple. Say I'm bisexual. End of story. No need to worry.
