First off, I should say this isn't immediately relevant. I still don't know what my sexuality is and I can't come out as "maybe not straight" and even if I did know, coming out wouldn't really serve a purpose. Eventually, when I have everything figured out I would like to come out, but I'm worried it might hurt my parents. My parents aren't homophobic in the same way my grandfather's not racist. He thinks black people should have the same rights as white people, but at the same time he's not comfortable in a room with them. I know my parents will still love me no matter what, but I'm worried they might be hurt. They might think it's their fault and that they raised me wrong. They'd feel they have to defend me every time the topic of gay marriage comes up, even though they both hate conflict. I couldn't bare to be a burden or hurt them in any way. I just don't know what to do.
Since there's nothing wrong with being gay, how could issues of 'fault' or 'wrong' come into it? If your parents love you, then defending you isn't going to be something they see as a chore. Beyond which, you're nearly an adult and are presumably going to be quite capable of defending yourself in the near future (part of being an adult, dontcha know- regardless of the subject matter). Ultimately and at the end of the day, your parents 'job' in producing and raising a child is to produce someone who can operate as an adult, an independent, productive member of society. A necessary part of that is accepting that, as an independent adult, you may very well make choices or live your life in a way that they don't totally approve of. But as long as you're happy with your life, that should be the main (some might say the only) criteria that they should be judging from. My 2c worth, Todd
Don't stress out about it. They may not be entirely comfortable with it, but they'll figure it out and they will be able to get over any of the initial awkwardness or surprise. My own parents are about 5% with my sexuality and gender identity, but they don't avoid me or feel obligated to speak out about LGBT issues. They will still make sure I'm safe and happy, but even if they don't understand how I feel or even if they aren't on board with it, they still don't see me as a screw up or a burden. I'm still their kid, not a problem to be dealt with. I don't know your parents, obviously, but from what you've said, it seems that they would be accepting of it. Like I said, it might be a surprise or a bit awkward at first, but that will all pass and it will stop being a big deal. Once your parents have gotten to the point where they are no longer processing the news about your sexuality, it won't be a big issue. Of course you can expect them to ask a couple questions or possibly doubt your certainty, but I wouldn't worry too much, your parents seem like they'd be okay with who you are.
