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coming out to parents and possibly violin teacher

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by mkchoco, Oct 13, 2013.

  1. mkchoco

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    I was planning on waiting until i leave for college or until i actually have a girlfriend to come out to my parents but I've been thinking it might be better to come out soon. the main cause of this is because lately if I'm texting someone, my parents ask "who're you texting? your boyfriend?" "no" "girlfriend?" "no" or whether or not i'm texting a girl or a guy. I'm thinking they know I mean there are a lot of clues that should lead them to assume i am lesbian. One conversation we've had my mom basically plain out said it's be ok if i was gay and my dad added "as long as i can go fishing".
    Should I come out now? or should I wait? I don't really have anything to keep me from telling them except i've never really been "close" to my parents. We get along and they do everything to support me but I don't tell them much about my social life or anything and this conversation will be the first.

    and my violin teacher...
    I feel like i should tell her because in a way i feel like i'm hiding this from her. She's practically her other students 2nd mom and I kinda want that relationship with her too. We are fairly close and every now and then she asks if i have a boyfriend and i say no and she considers it for a little bit before we continue with my lesson. I know I can trust her with anything but i'm not sure about how she would react to this. I don't think she'd not want to teach me anymore or anything but I don't think she would know how to react and I don't want to put her in a weird position. She's actually the one who made me finally have to face my sexuality with a comment she casually said. I don't think she implied anything by it but she said "so you really like x then" (x= who i like but obviously that's not their name). She could have meant both romantically or as a musician but i'm not sure and it made me think.
    i'm not really comfortable about forcing this subject into a conversation either so...

    do you guys have any input?
    thanks!
     
  2. laut

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    It sounds like with your parents the time is ripe to come out. They may even have already sussed.

    As for your violin teacher, one would hope that she'd be honoured that you trusted her enough to tell her. Maybe a little more 'scouting out' her attitudes about LGBT topics might not be a bad idea.
     
  3. mkchoco

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    Thank you very much for your response!

    I will come out to my parents by next month :slight_smile:
     
  4. angel626

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    It's awesome you know your parents are going to be cool with it; go for it. Now for your teacher I understand what your going through. In high school I had a teacher I looked up to and respected. She was the first teacher to call me out on my bs and put me in my place. She quickly became an important person in my life; someone I didn't want to disappoint. When I told her I was gay I was not even thinking I just blurted it out thankfully she accepted me for who I was. So if I had the chance to do it again, I would pay attention or even ask certain questions that would have given me an insight on what she personally thinks about the lgbt community.
    Early congrats and good luck with your teacher hopefully things work out in your favor.
     
  5. mkchoco

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    I have been trying to see if I can slip the topic into our conversations but I don't really know how because we never go there.
    thank you so much for replying :slight_smile:
     
  6. angel626

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    Talk about politics its always the best way to bring the topic up; since there is always something about gay people in the news. Just be like "oh did you hear that..." add your opinion and then look thoughtful for a second then say "what is your opinion on all of this..." hope that works.