So, I'm currently applying to colleges so I was lying on my bed while my dad was on my computer putting in his information and paying for the application. He has his back to me and I'm working on homework. I happen to glance over at him at one point and I see my EC profile and a couple EC threads on the screen. I also saw one of the FCKH8.com "Some Dudes Marry Dudes. Get over it." shirts. I realized that I had left these tabs open on my computer. :bang::eusa_doh: He didn't say anything to me, and I don't think he knows that I saw him on those tabs. Should I try to talk to him about it, or just leave it alone? I feel so stupid for leaving those tabs open... :bang::help:
I'd just leave it alone...and let him bring it up first, if he does at all. (unless ofcourse you wish to come out to him at this point...)
Well, he didnt flip so I dont think it can be all bad... Ill be the other side of what was stated above and say that maybe he's waiting for you to approach him. This could be for a variety of reasons and if you are pretty shure hell be supportive, why not come out? Just an opposing thought...
Agreed, leave it be. He might take a few days to put two and two together, but when it happens he'll either accept it quietly or talk to you about it. He might talk to your mum about it as parents often do when they find something out about their children that spooks them.
Hm, I'ma go against the grain, here, and say since, by the sounds of it, he probably *did* see, this is a good time for you to come out. You leave it, he's just going to keep wondering and possibly even treat you differently, and may get aaall the wrong ideas in his head (from ignorance most straight people have about the LGBT community). If you bring it up to him, at least you can iron things out and talk through it with him, and maybe even open his mind so you can grease the wheels for acceptance. As long as you are sure that he won't react too badly (like, by doing something crazy like kicking you out or whatever) I say don't leave it, cause that's how things fester. Get it out in the open, and clear the air. Just my two cents.
I think you should let it sit for awhile. Let him think about it for a couple weeks, and then approach him. I agree what others AND what Cherch said. You father didn't flip out so it's a good sign, but I think he needs a little time for him digest this information on his own first. Remember, since the first day you were born, they had built expectations around you and today he noticed half of those expectations aren't going to happen, it's a shock. It shouldn't be but it is. Give him a little time, but not too much time.
I'm with CherCher on this one. Atleast a bit. I don't know your entire story so you might have a compelling reason to wait. Here is my take as a parent. Most not all parents that will not handle this information would flip right away, some might wait to talk to there spouse and then flip together but that emotion that drives them would come thru pretty quickly. A small number of parent could go into denial tho. Most likely tho if you don't hear form him in a few days it means he respects you and wants you to come to him when you are ready. Ofcoarse you know your parents best. I wish you strength and good luck.
Hmm, hard for me ti give the most accurate advice since I do not know your parents. But give him a bit time to digest what he had just found out, say a few weeks might be enough. Then come out to him but not the 'Dad, I'm gay.' But more like, dad, I need to tell you something I might not be able to get you a daughter in law. Sth like that. Be a bit ambiguous but not discreet. That might be better than blurting out the truth way too fast and frank.
Two ways that could be interpreted. One, that he saw... and is ok with it, was not entirely sure what to make of it, but wanted to respect your privacy. Two... in denial. the way parents are when their kids are on drugs. They see the evidence and just can't let themselves believe it. Either way, I wouldn't use that as a way to come out--unless it would help open the conversation for you. "Um... Dad? Did you see that web site on my computer... about, you know... well... "
Whatever he saw, he saw; can't back that up. I don't know your parents, but what I would do in the same situation is think about it for a while, then talk it over with my wife so that we could (hopefully) approach you with a uniform front. Then I would tell you that you are my son, and that I will love you until the day I die. And that I always want you to tell me the truth, when you feel like you need to tell me something at all, because I want your word to always be truthful so I can trust you and help you when you need it. If you tell me that you are gay, then I would accept that as who you are, and since you have always been that way, it changes nothing about how I feel about you now. If you tell me that you are not going to bring me a daughter-in-law, I would say "A man can never have too many sons, so bring me one of those.", and give you a big hug.
First off, thank you everybody for your advice! It really is great advice, and if events had not changed once again today, I would have followed most of it... So, in the 3+ years I have had my computer, my parents have touched it probably 5 times at most. In a 24-hour window my dad AND my mom have now used my computer. Even after that fiasco last night, I still didn't close out of those tabs because I didn't see the need to. Today, I come home from school, and my mom told me that their computer wasn't working, so she had used my computer to do her online banking and such. I love my mom, I really do, but she is technologically illiterate. :roflmao: She didn't know how to open a new tab, so she just chose a random tab. I have 27 TABS open, and she chooses my EC tab first and then chooses the FCKH8.com tab. Of course. :eusa_doh: She just straight up asked me if I thought I was gay and I was honest with her. She just said that it changes absolutely nothing, she still loves me, and nothing will ever change that. She will support me in whatever I end up doing. She even told me that it's just the way that it is, and it's the way that I am, and nothing can change that. She wants to have a talk tonight with my dad about it all, but I guess you can say that I'm out now, and my mom is supportive! My dad will officially find out later when my mom tells him, but she thinks he will be fine with it! Now life continues on as normal, without having to hide who I am really am! I guess my stupidity in not closing out some tabs actually worked out in my favor. Thanks EC for the support! (&&&)
Slam Dunk! Wow man the universe smiled upon you that day. Congrats! I hope your dad takes the news as well as your mom!
Awesome news! What we call a happy accident! Good for you for being honest; I'd like to think the suggestions above nudged you in the right direction!
Thanks everyone for your support! My family and I just had one of those big, sit-down family talks and my parents are totally good with me being gay! I am so relieved that they're accepting. They were actually really mad at me for not telling them sooner. :roflmao: I'm just so happy that they're accepting, and I'm glad I have an awesome EC community to share this with! Thanks everyone! (&&&)
I just stumbled across this thread but I just wanted to congratulate you it seems it's all ended up well for you so that's fantastic news!