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Coming Out:Again!!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DrkRayne, Oct 14, 2013.

  1. DrkRayne

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Michigan
    So my partner and I, as I mentioned before, have made some new friends lately. She is really close to this one guy. His family is from her home country, but born and raised here. Totally cool dude. Great guy. He know's she isn't single.

    Thing is, he thinks she is straight. We hang out a lot, but...he thinks were just roommates. I've tried everything short of kissing her on the lips.

    The other night we went to a straight bar to watch the game and play pool. I wore my rainbow necklace to avoid issues, such as straight men, but I dont think he noticed it. So at one point, I'm about to just tell him and she kicks me under the table.
    She doesn't want me to say anything.

    We're all, the entire group of us, going out to the zoo next week and were all planning on going to NY together.
    I want to come out. i want to tell them were a couple. But my partner is worried she'll lose that guy as a friend, or that another friend, Kim, her husband will flip. He is 20 years older than her and well...rather religious conservative. Kim is cool, but really....submissive to him.

    What do we do? I'm 26, I am not about to be shoved in a closet. Were a couple, settled down, planning a wedding. I'n out EVERYWHERE. I never hold back form correcting people then they say boyfriend or "him" in reference to my partner.

    I find it odd these people are so blind, but then again, straight women like to "play gay" so its understandable.
    I'm wanting to tattoo "L" on my forehead. :/
    Help!!!!!
     
  2. hitgirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2013
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    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Tough one. You have a right to be out, she has a right to be in. Hmmm. I think you should give her a bit more time if she needs it, but tell her that it's not fair on you pretending to be her roommate. Tell her how it makes you feel lying all the time. Maybe point out that the longer you leave it, the harder it will be and the more likely that your friends will feel betrayed by all the deceit... coming out to them is inevitable really, maybe point out that you would have to lie about the wedding, hide your wedding photos if they come round, etc.