OK, I've calmed down from my last (emo) post and I'm just going to simplify everything an start small. I *think* I'm gay. (relief to say it or type it) But I'm not exactly reacting well. I was hysterical when I went to see my bf last night and I havn't been able to stop crying. Last night, I wanted nothing more than just to retreat safely back into my 'straight' life and carry on thinking I'm just hypothetically bi. But I don't think that will help anyone. Least of all me but I'm really struggling. And I hate it because I was always bi and I've gone to every pride, backed every gay campaign and now, that I feel like this all I can do is, it seems, is be a hypocrite :icon_redf Is it normal to feel this upset about it? How did everyone else react? And how did you know you were gay?
I knew I was gay from a very young age (approximately 6 years old) so I had an easier time accepting it. It does not bother me even though I come from a religious background. No big deal. It's just a feeling.
I reacted...well pretty much how you did. I got a bf and told everyone I was bi or if they KNEW me i said straight. I knew I wasnt but...it was what I did. Eventually I said bi...and then I just say "fuk it I"m gay" Its hard because you know as bi person you can just...hide in the closet still and be with a member of the opposite sex. I can understand it, and it may take time for you to get used to it. However don't go a be "straight" as if can and will mess you up. relax and just...live for a while and talk to other gay people as much as you can. Its not bad.
Well, based on the various accounts I've read here, I'm apparently very much not normal (but that's nothing new). I knew (or concluded, actually) that I was gay, and not just experimenting, when I looked at the available data. I had never once felt any attraction to a female and I had gone from accepting the advances of a guy to actively arranging a hookup with a guy (twice). A + B = C. My reaction was basically 'well, that's sorted, guess I can look forward to more sex with dudes. But right now I'm hungry. What should I have for dinner?' Anyway, that was me. As mentioned, most people seem to find it rather more stressful, as I'm sure you'll hear from others soon enough. Todd
Yeah, well I'm pretty ashamed of myself for reacting this way, I mean it's not as if I ever thought it was a big deal until it was me :/ And I guess it also means losing my bf, who, I do love. It's complicated but I do. But then I'm fantasizing about women and kissing women at gay clubs and I can't keep doing it to him. I was honest and he agrees to give me time but I don't even know where to start now. I'm either v confused or in a lot of denial. And I feel it may be the latter and I really wish I'd just, you know, get over it! lol! I don't know why i can't
Totally know what you mean, always been pro-gay, pro-bi, totally anti-discrimination, but then when I started admitting to myself that I was bi it freaked me out and I wished it wasn't happening. Don't feel bad! You say you 'think' you're gay though, so why not give yourself some more time to be sure before you come out? If you know you're not attracted to/in love with your boyfriend in *that way* (presumably you're not or you wouldn't think you were gay) then you can still break up with him, then maybe try going out with a woman next time (at least you're out as bi so should work) and make your mind up then whether to come out as gay. Or you could always just let your closest friends or family know that you might be gay but save the full coming out for when you're sure. ---------- Post added 14th Oct 2013 at 06:17 PM ---------- PS. You can also have a strong preference for women and still be bi... but you probably knew that already
no i do love my bf. completely. but he said this one thing that really made sense. He said he feels like he occupies this space between men and women where I don't like men and I like women and he's in his own box. That's true. I couldn't have said it as well as he did.
