I was hoping to have a nice coming-out story to tell you all, but I failed entirely, and have, I think, perhaps even pushed myself back into the closet even more. I had meant to try and come out to my parents recently, but even when with my mum a good time arose, I just got all panicky and my body went completely into fear-response mode, and I had to concentrate on breathing, and could not come out. Instead we talked about guys :bang:. Not that I was lying: just telling half-truths. But still :bang:. So yeah, there we go. I think that maybe it just wasn't the right time. Even though I'm sure they'll be ok, in the end I was just too afraid. But in the end it may be for the best: I am still not very happy with the situation I'm in, and have some issues to resolve with myself, so perhaps this is the way it just has to be. But I'm getting older every day, and my "heterosexuality" is becoming an increasingly entrenched fact, that I really have to sort out. But another time it would seem.
i wouldn't worry about it. if you have other things on your mind then maybe it is best to get them out the way first. but in any case, theres no rush i've never liked the idea of coming out being done in a way that makes it seem a massive deal. i'd like it done in a way thats just like 'oh iccidentally i like so and so' or 'it's on my mind and i think that i like the same sex'. so maybe you are building it up to be a massive deal and to be a defining moment in your life when you could see it as a more casual conversation and maybe they would accept it better in that way aswel although everyone is different and everyones relationships with parents are different. sin any case, don't beat yourself up over it. theres no rush, it will come out eventually
You might try writing a letter - short, one-page - and handing it to them. It's a lot easier to hand something off than it is to start discussing it, I think. Lex
Aw (*hug*) Don't worry too much about it, you just have to wait until it's the right time. You should consider Lex's or Jayy's suggestions, that might make it easier for you if it's really bothering you. These perfect opportunities to come out will be there again and again. My (limited) experience is that eventually you worry so much about it that it just slips out, regardless of whether it was the right time or not, but saying that I'm not out to my parents either, and don't plan to come out anytime soon.
It's okay, I've hit brick walls about that myself. It's hard to come out, and it's just really scary sometimes. I've tried joking my way into it, but no one believes me (and I probably shouldn't try it that way anyway). The only one who believes me is actually gay anyway. But don't worry, there will come a time, and everything will work out. Until then, we're all here! And my PM box is always open for venting (trust me.) (*hug*)
Thanks guys. There's always next time, so not a terrible thing, just annoying and frustrating. I had wanted to come out casually, as my parents always ask me if I'd found someone, or if there is anyone I like - but come the time, I just couldn't do it. It frustrates me because I don't want to make a big deal of it (even though it is), but I don't know if I CAN actually just say - I may have to do a letter. But I'm going to wait a while. But I'm a believer in the maxim that if I was ready I'd've been able to do it. So maybe all for the best.
I had the same feeling when trying to tell my parents. I always found the perfect moment, but words never came out. But don't give up! :3
Don't worry, when the time is right and you're ready you will be able to do it. This is something you'll always get another shot at =] (*hug*)
Maybe you should write a letter that way you don't have to actually speak those words and you can say more in a letter then you can when you are half hyperventalating! I wrote both my mom and dad letters because I knew I couldn't get the words out. You can write a letter and mail it or give it to her and leave or you can give her a letter and sit there while she reads it. Just a suggestion. Good luck! Sam
Sam's idea is a sound one. I was only able to manage a squeaky "I'm gay" to my parents before I clammed up, but having the PFLAG pamphlets at hand made it possible to let them do some reading while it all sank in and took some of the burden off me. You could consider getting some of those as well.
Hi! I agree with the above posts. I wouldn't worry too much about it and as you have indicated there is always next time. Coming out to parents is one of the hardest things to do. I have never been that close to telling my parents, but even just thinking about it brings up fears in me. Fears are a 'natural' part of it. Take your time. I'm sure another opportunity will arise in the future.
Hey there, it's okay to hit a wall with coming out every once and a while. I did it all the time, start with "I have something to tell you" and ending with something random and stupid. I came out to my mom through a hand-written letter. I requested she didn't ask me questions, and she didn't. So I think that's you're best bet, if you can't come out face-to-face. There's no rush to come out, though, just do it when you feel the time is right. The most important thing to remember, is that you accept yourself, having acceptance for yourself is the best kind of acceptance out there. Good luck! (*hug*)
