I feel like I need to tell my mom and my dad that to be honest... I don't know what I am. It may be jumping the gun a bit early but I think I need their reassurrance that they love me no matter what ( which I'm lucky in that I know they would say that). Has anyone done anything similar and regretted it? I feel like I'm guarding this secret that I feel ashamed for hiding, but at the same time when it's out I don't want to be pushed into anything either... I just feel like people expect something from me
I feel like if i say anything it will be like coming out, but it's not really. it's more like i'd be announcing that i'm neither in nor out of the closet because i keep looking for something and i can't find it in or out of the closet. I don't want there to be an expectation for me to get in a same sex relationship. i just need to have a chat. I'm really hard on my dad lately and have this "i'll never be daddy's little princess" complex.... i think it's all explained by this :/ but i still don't know what I am. The idea of a penis inside me turns me on, i am infatuated with this guy i know ( but that's a casual...*ahem* toxic relationship...if i could even call it that), but lately female same sex fantasies turn me on faster, but i am not yet comfortable to be with another woman physically. and I think i may be overthinking things...
You should really just tell them. I know how hard it is, but I've had friends who have come out to their parents as just "not straight" or they "think they're bi/gay". I know how it feels to think that you'll look different in your parents' eyes, but they love you, and they'll be open to you being yourself, even if you don't know who you are yet. and If you don't want to come out yet, then wait, the pressure to come out lessens after you start to slowly figure out who you are. You'll get there soon. I promise.
I actually did this with my mom just last night. She was great, she helped calm me down. She gave me great advice and reassured me that there is no one in the family who would care. If you know your parents are open minded and it wouldn't bother them, it can be great to have that pressure alleviated. It's kind of sad but at 20 I still tell my Mom anything, and for me, once she knew, i felt like I had space enough to really explore my feelings and know that she's behind me 100%
Hey Alice, I'm twenty too ^^ We are in the same boat it seems...liking guys with long hair, having mothers who are great! I was going to tell her another time but my aunt was there and I wouldn't feel comfortable saying anything in front of her. At envira, thank you! One last question - when you think you've accepted yourself, do you still find yourself unsure of your orientation?
Hi there! If you wanted to come out, and have the feeling that a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, you could always say "I'm questioning my sexual orientation, and I have a hard time defining my feelings at the moment. All I know is that I keep being pulled from one side to the other." It could also give you the 'option' of going back to your parents and saying "I have started to understand my feelings better" down the road. It sounds like you already know that your parents would be very accepting and supportive. Having that reassurance from them, could help you in becoming more relaxed/at ease while you continue trying to figure out what all the feelings and attractions mean.
