So I've known I was gay since 7th grade, but was unsure. I am now comfortable with being homosexual, and have told my close friends. They were all ok with it, but I'm afraid my parents won't be. They are both very religious, which already made me wonder if it would be wise to come out to them. My father says "ew" or "gross!" whenever a gay couple kisses on a commercial or tv show. I think my mom may suspect, but unsure. They are both great and loving parents and I doubt even if they were caustic would they kick me out. Also, my extremely liberal grandparents live very close by (and they know im gay), so I'm not afraid of being kicked out or losing financial support. Recently I told them both that I don't believe in god anymore, and that has made our relationship tenuous at best. They are politically neutral, and when I try to bring up the topic to feel out whether they are very homophobic or not, they turn the question back on me (and I do say I support equal rights, so my opinions definitely aren't hidden). Sorry if this didn't make sense, I will respond to questions asking for clarification. I want to know, should I come out now, and if not, when/how?
Well, my first question would be how old are you now? I'm 16, a senior in highschool, and I've decided I won't come out as genderqueer until after graduation. Of course, I have slightly different reasons for doing this, but it also assures that if I do have family problems--which is likely--that I will be able to go straight to college. So if you're terribly, terribly nervous, and you feel like you have something to fear, and are almost out of highschool, I would wait. Unless outside circumstances arise, of course. My next question is, how badly do you want to come out? Because if you really feel the need to come out--you have a romantic interest, etc--then do so carefully. Try just being an ally at first, and see how it goes over. Heck, maybe they'll figure it out just from that. Either way, that's just a good way to test the water. Really, though I encourage you to come out, only you can fully understand your circumstances. If you do decide to come out, know that I, and many others stand fully behind you, and are wishing you all the best. Good luck, friend
