I have no idea what to do. I have quite a dilemma. So here is what is going on. I have realize that I am Gay in May 2011. I kinda freaked out, but I am glad that I'm gay. It has made me a much stronger person. So anyway, I have a crush on this one guy. He is my first love. Just and incredible person. I'm in love with him. He is out of the closet and gay. So I have had a crush on him for about a month now. So I was texting him when he said that his crush is dating someone else. I was happy about that. Oh, and by the way, I'm not out of the closet at all. Then he said that I should be glad that I'm not gay, and that it causes problems. That started it all. When I saw the text, it made me even more anxious to come out. But I'm not ready at all at the same time. I feel bad for not telling him yet. I just want to scream "IM GAY!" In his face.
But I'm really not ready to come out. If I told anyone, my parents would find out because my siblings would find out because word gets around. And I'm just not ready for that. On the other hand, I'm in love with this person. I can see us married one day. I just don't know what I should do.
Tell him, but don't scream in his face; it's not nice to scream at someone you love. Also tell him you aren't quite ready to come out yet, so you would like to keep it just between the two of you until you are. He can help you get ready.
I would definitely tell him. This seems like one of those situations that you will regret later if you don't let him know....even if it doesn't work out.
To repeat (paraphrased and with different genders involved) some advice given to me a very long time ago on another forum when I was first acknowledging I was a lesbian... If he's out as gay then there must have been a time when he was coming out and didn't want everyone to know. If you come out to him but ask him to keep it just between the two of you for now, then he should understand why that's important to you. You seem to have a friendship with this guy so if you can trust him, try coming out to him and asking him not to tell anyone yet. Maybe just come out to him for now and test the water rather than asking him out just yet. If he asks you out when he finds out - all well and good! (I didn't take the advice given on that forum and it's one of my regrets!)
