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So close to coming out last night

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Egan, Oct 17, 2013.

  1. Egan

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    South Africa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm a closeted bi guy in my mid 30s (married) and am simply petrified of coming out. I was out with a close friend of mine (a female) last night, and after a few beers, I came really close to telling her I am bi-sexual. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I found myself shaking the closer I came to blurting it out. To be honest, I was absolutely terrified. Much to my disgust, I chickened out and could not do it. I have not felt so scared in many years. Why oh why is it so difficult? Today I feel quite sick just thinking of last night's ordeal! :icon_sad: <sigh>
     
  2. Argentwing

    Full Member

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    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have no idea what it's like in South Africa, but here at least, women and particularly younger women are very relaxed about men's sexuality. Telling her you're bi shouldn't be a big deal at all. She might actually like it. :wink:
     
  3. Egan

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks RSwordsman. I'm not sure... Maybe she will like it :slight_smile: I know inside that the problem is me, and not actually what she might think. I'm so scared! LOL
     
  4. English Frenchman

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    Well, I’m a bit too young to know, but from my experiences with females in Cape Town and in Durban, they’re very relaxed and are usually very trustworthy. I read your previous post about your platonic relationship with another man.
    I recently came out to two people - my two closest friends. That is to say, I recently finally managed to get the words out. Many times I’ve called them on the phone ( I live in Western Africa, they in the States ) and the awkward silence happened where I tried to say it and then I had to invent something to justify the long silence.
    It’s like a band-aid. Just in one motion.