I am going out on a third date tonight with a woman and I know that tonight the date is likely to get more physical. I am concerned because I am not 100% sure I am gay, and I am not sure I should be going through with the date. This is the first woman I have really dated. Should I know without having to experiment or try things out if I am aroused by and attracted to women? Or is it normal to give it a try to figure things out? I am quite introverted and very shy about getting physical with anyone, so I know that fact, compounded with my uncertainty, means that I may come across as uninterested tonight. I have had a great time on the last two dates getting to know her more and do not want to mess things up if I am just putting up walls, but if I am not gay I do not want to make myself go through an uncomfortable situation either. I am really struggling with this and feel that it should not be this hard and I should just know...
Maybe express your feelings to her and let her know you're unsure. She'll probably understand and maybe help you out with figuring it out. Don't stress over it though
I know you've probably been on your date now, but just wanted to say there's no pressure to rush unless you put it onto yourself. Start with kissing, see if you like that. Move it up a notch, see if you like that. Tell her you want to take it slow. If she goes ahead to quickly, ask her to reign it in and say you're not ready for x, y or z. I think it's fine to be like this in any new relationship, to help you get comfortable with someone. There's no need to jump into bed straight away. And that way I don't think you will be putting yourself through anything you won't enjoy, you can stop things at any point along the way. But don't over think it either- it will be either a defining moment in your life as a lesbian/bisexual or an experiment in your life as a straight women. Either way, well done you for exploring something rather than repressing.
