As some backstory to this, I've known my friend for four or five years. Since we started high school we'd become really good friends and last year I let him know I was gay. He was a little weird for a month after I told him but then after that he was completely comfortable around me. However, about a month ago he told me he thought he was bi and he dropped some not very discreet hints suggesting that he was attracted to me. I told him that he should slow down and not make any decisions he would regret, and for the following week he acted kind of weird around me. I have to admit I kind of find him attractive, and I asked him what his feelings towards me were. He told me he thought of me as more than a friend and he wanted to experiment with me. Everything was fine between us until we got into an argument about something really trivial, but I apologized and we moved on. But after the fight he started saying things like "I don't like guys like that" and "I'm never going to touch a dick" in common conversation when we were around people, almost as if he were in denial about his sexuality. I got kinda mad once he started saying things like that almost every time the subject of penises or guys was brought up, and things got a little frosty between us again. And that leads to the situation that happened yesterday: I was late to practice and when I got there, my other friend who knew I was gay pulled me aside and told me my other friend outed me to the rest of the team. After practice I was extremely angry and sent him some very furious text messages, saying things like he was a backstabber and that I couldn't believe he betrayed my trust and stuff like that. Afterwards, I asked some other people and it turns out when he was outing me, my friend said "Yeah (my name) thought I was gay, and I'm not, but he actually is" and they discussed it and came to the conclusion that I'm gay. Basically my friend did out me, but he did it indirectly by bringing it up. While I'm still extremely mad at him, I think the messages I sent him were a touch too angry considering how I was outed. I see him every day in gym and at practice and I can't avoid him, so I'm wondering what I should do now. Am I in the right or the wrong?
No, I think you reacted appropriately. If somebody did that to me, I'd be pissed. Wait for him to apologize because he's the one who outed you. It's really not cool that he did that to you.
What a fucking idiot. I'm sorry that's NOT ok. He's in hardcore denial. So now he's lashing out and back peddling. He'll think about this in another 5 years and feel very bad. He'll regret betraying you and he'll find out just how terrible it is to out a gay person. He's probably bi and will have to come out in life at some point. Then he'll realize. You acted approprietly.
You acted the same way I would've. The hell does he think he is to go around and tell everyone?! Quite honestly, you have my permission to beat the jerk to a pulp if the desire is there. Or if you aren't wanting to use force, I say you confront the little asshat in person (and then use force if he tries to attack~). But seriously, what a jerk. ):<
You acted as you should've. I would suggest you explain to him how he would feel if you outed him (because he seems to be in denial). That's what I'd do.
This post makes me a little reluctant to tell my friends when I know I have too now. I am sorry he outed you he had no right to that was your decision. You reacted as anyone would off in your shoes I would of been mad too as it must of taken a lot for you to tell him your gay in the first place.
