Hello, So here's my story. I live abroad in Canada where I initially came for my studies only but now I see myself settling here long-term. I live with my bf who I've been with for almost three years. I am currently done school and working, though 30% of my income still comes from my dad. I am not out to any of my direct family members who all live back home in the Middle East, in the gulf. Though I still believe I am not 100% ready to come out this very moment, I do somehow feel it's a bubble waiting to be popped where one day I simply will not be able to hold it in and just grab a phone/E-Mail and call/message my parents. I guess my two questions are, specifically to those who have been in a similar situation, tho all welcome: 1) Given I've already acknowledged the high possibility of getting disowned, how do you know when you're ready to come out? 2) What form of communication is best to come out? (i.e. phone call, E-Mail, Text Message) I understand this may have been answered else where, but I'm looking for answers that fit this context (living abroad, family back home, conservative yet very slightly liberal). Thanks a bunch!
It might be best to write an email, as you'll have the time to write down all your thoughts to them, and they'll have the time to read and process it. If it were a phone call, things could get heated really quickly. If it were a text message, there are limits in terms of texting speed and it's just a tad awkward for something so major. You're ready to come out when you feel like you are, and when you're as comfortable as you'll ever be with the potential results, and when you have decided that it's time to stop hiding who you are. I'm not going to pretend that this isn't a really rough situation, 'cause it sounds like it really is. I do hope that, with time, your parents and family will realize that your happiness and presence in their lives is much more important than their disdain over who you want to spend your life with. I wish you the best, and know that whatever happens does not invalidate their love for you — it'd just mean that they have a hard time seeing past their prejudice, even if it'd hurt you, and even if it'd overshadow the love they have for you. The love would still be there, and it could take some time for that to emerge onto the surface again.
Hi there! Welcome to Empty Closets. It does sound like a difficult situation you are finding yourself in, and I can imagine that it creates quite a few stresses on you. If you don't mind me asking, what is your legal status in Canada at the moment? Are you an international student with an open work permit, or a permanent resident? Is there still a chance that you could be asked to leave Canada? Given that you are still somewhat financially dependent on your dad, I'd suggest to wait until you come out, at least until you know that you can provide for your own living needs. If you feel that you are not ready to come out at this point, and you already know that there is a good chance that your parents/family will disown you, I would encourage you to take a step back and put everything into place that you need in order to deal with the fall out. If you haven't done so yet, work on building a strong support network around you, which of course can include your boyfriend.
Thanks so much for your input and I appreciate your empathy to this sensitive situation. The E-Mail communication really makes sense to me and I think I will end up coming out using this method when the time comes in the future. It just makes sense to me after I read your post. ---------- Post added 24th Oct 2013 at 11:23 PM ---------- Thanks for the welcome. Happy to be here! Regarding my status, I initially started as an international student however I am currently on a post-grad work permit thats valid until 2015. Until then, I need to work 1 year full-time in a skilled position before I'm able to apply for my PR. There is of-course always that possibility that I could be asked to leave if something doesn't work out with immigration however if I stick to plan and satisfy all their requirements I can't think of any reason they should ask me to leave. Hope this makes sense.
