So, to start by quoting myself from the What Are You Thinking? thread - "Thinking about another thread - at my Mum's birthday party my Mum (who as far as I know doesn't know my sexuality) introduced my (straight but looks like a stereotypical lesbian) best friend to everyone as "This is [Siarad's] very good friend [XXXXX]" and all my mother's friends nodded knowingly whilst my mother continued with the party, apparently oblivious. Yet another occasion of people getting the right idea about me for the wrong reasons. It will annoy me if any of her friends ask her outright about me and she says "No, Siarad and XXXXX aren't a couple, they're not gay, XXXXX just has that style" and I have to later explain that she only got it half right!" As stated in this quote, my straight best friend looks exactly like a stereotypical lesbian. The vast majority of people would never think I was gay when meeting me in most circumstances but when they meet me with my friend, they start to think I'm a lesbian (which is accurate) but only because they misconceive her as a lesbian and us a couple. It also happened at her retirement party where my Mum's colleague came up when XXXXX joined us and my colleague "So, you're Siarad's ..." and left a space hanging, at which point XXXXX chimed in with "friend". Mum's (and my previous colleague) spent the rest of the night talking whether my 'friend' with the inverted commas was coming on to town, etc. The truth is, with people outside my immediate circle, I sometimes like the misconception about what's going on, because at least it opens something up for people to see the truth about me. Sooner or later, though, it's really going to backfire because my friend's going to get wind of it and run a mile thinking I'm attracted to her. She's had too many friendships go sour on her by people falling for her in the wrong way and I can't risk her thinking that would happen with us. She is genuinely my best friend and I do love her in the (sisterly but chosen sister) sense but I'm not attracted to her. I'm worried that this is all going to come back on me and lose me a friend in the end.
